Health and all that jazz

My 3 guys

I'm not even sure where to begin, but I think I want to write more to process my own thoughts than to fill you all in on the not so exciting details of our lives.

For a little background information, we took Asher in for his 12 month check up back in July and the doctor had a few concerns. It hasn't really been something I've blogged about for various reason, such as I haven't really known how to process my thoughts, the findings have been long and detailed, and really we're hoping that in the big picture none of this will be a big deal, so we're trying to not make a big deal out of it.
Anyway, without going into to many boring details, Asher is delayed in several areas, but the most concerning has been that he has low muscle tone. After asking million of questions, I'm still confused as to what that is, as the therapist's that we've met with said that he's actually very strong for his age. Apparently low muscle tone and strong muscles are two completely different things. Anyway, all of this has to deal with so many problems such as his feeding (he's currently eating at around a 9 month level) and what he can chew, his energy, his pain tolerance (which is unusually high) and so on and so forth. Basically to sum it up,  he doesn't feel a lot of sensation. We've started therapy for him, and are hopeful that things will get better, although no one really knows for sure how this will affect him long term.

So, that's that. Fast forward to Monday. We took Atley in for his 2 month appointment and something I've feared but haven't vocalized was confirmed. The doctor thinks that it's possible that Atley has the same problems. After being told some of the signs of the low muscle tone, I've been kind of paying attention to details with my newborn that most moms would never think to notice. Atley has had a hard time with feeding, not quite as much as Asher did, but the underlying problems have been the same, and I've been noticing that Atley's cheeks are starting to get big and puffy and sink down like Asher's did. I didn't want to mention anything to the doctor, because honestly I thought I was just being a paranoid mom, but unfortunately she noticed some of the same things. She said that normally it wouldn't be something that was concerning to her at this young age, but because of what we now know about Asher, she's seeing a similar pattern that raises some flags.

So, my next question is why? As far as Steve and I know, there's no history of these problems on either side of our family, but the doctor mentioned that sometimes a mother and father's genetic makeup doesn't always fit together like it should. So, now the doctors are wanting to do some genetic testing on the boys to try and see where all of this stems from. It's all just to much information to digest sometimes. I really was fine with all of it until a few innocent comments got me thinking about the future.  We dropped Asher off in the Y childcare center last night and one of the workers mentioned about how tough he was and that he'd make a good football player once he got older. Such an innocent comment, but it got me thinking about how I want my boys to be able to do anything that they want to and not be held back, but the reality is that low muscle tone kids excel in gymnastics, not football.
I know, I know, it's silly, but I think that as a mom it's heartbreaking to think of your childs future and know that there's a possibility that you won't be able to cheer them on in whatever it is that they decide they want to pursue. I know, I'm getting way ahead of myself here with what the future holds for our kids, but it's so hard for me to NOT think about this. Mostly, I think just because I want to raise strong confident kids and I know that other kids can be so cruel and the thought of my babies getting picked on because they're "different" is just so hard for me to digest.

Another part of me feels guilty - guilty for even worrying about this stuff when in reality we have been so blessed to have such healthy children. I think of one of my friends who has a 2 year old daughter that is battling leukemia right now and feel ashamed that I'm even bothering to put an ounce of worry into the "problems" that we're facing. Back when we first found out about all of this, we had another scare that something might be wrong with Asher's heart. He had a murmur that was getting louder, so we had to send him to the childrens hospital for several tests, which thankfully came out just fine. It was just a scare, but I remember at the time feeling so grateful and positive about all of these non-life threatening developmental delays because all that mattered to me was that my baby had a healthy heart.  It really put thing into perspective for me.

2 Months Old!

Can't believe my baby is 2 months old already! This was taken on Sunday, just after he got out of the bath - what's been one of his few happy moments lately.

I am so not used to having a fussy baby and it's been so draining! It seems like the only time he's happy is if he's sleeping or having a pacifier held in his mouth.  He is such a little sweetheart, but definitely has furthered convinced me that Asher should have been the poster child for the easiest baby in the world. Here's hoping it's a stage he grows out of, because all this crying is breaking my heart. What's ironic, is that he doesn't fuss quite as much when we're out and about and my consolation prize is that he's always been a great sleeper at night, which might explain why he hardly ever naps during the daytime.

We joined the Y last week and I'm so ready to start working out! Two back to back pregnancies has definitely taken a toll on my body and I sure have packed on the pounds. I'm also super excited to start working out just to have a little time to myself every day. The kicker is that since Atley has been so fussy and inconsolable unless someone holds him while holding the pacifier in his mouth (he can't keep it in on his own), I can't really take the kids in and put them in the childcare. Since I know he can't be held the entire time with all the other kids in there, it would only be a short few minutes before I was paged over the intercom to come calm him down, which defeats the purpose of trying to work out, so we've yet to make it to the Y.  Thankfully, the weather  has been beautiful so we've been taking some nice long walks every day, which actually beats going to the gym anyway.

On to other news, we've started to live life again. Went to a chili cook off on Friday night, had friends over for dinner on Saturday and then visited the botanical gardens on Sunday. Despite our fussy little guy, we're starting to get the hang of juggling two kids. I'm sure once Atley gets to the age where he has a specific nap time and routine though all that will change and we'll be back to never leaving the house  again between both of the kids nap times.

For now though, we're enjoying life and getting out as much as possible while life and the weather permits it.  Happy Fall everyone!

Twins?

I was looking at both some old and recent pictures this morning.

Can you tell which one is Asher and which one is Atley?

Yes, they definitely have some differences, but I still can't believe how much alike our boys look. I'm interested to see if those differences fade as they grow. As it is now, I don't think Asher looks at all like he did as an infant, but then again, a lot of that is due to the crooked haircut he now wears. :)

2 Weeks In....

We're now two weeks into navigating the waters as parents of 2 and boy is it difficult! I tend to be one of those people that like to imagine the very worst, so that I'm pleasantly surprised when things are actually better than I could have imagined. This time though, I guess I could have done a little bit more imagining, because it's actually been way harder than I thought it would be.

We weren't sure how to expect Asher to respond to a new baby since he is still so young and little himself. He has had such a hard adjustment though, and life with Atley is a piece of cake compared to life with our little sweet Asher. He seems to have adjusted a little better these past few days, but still, it's been rough. I just feel so bad for him when he throws these little tantrums, because I know he doesn't understand all this change. Poor little guy.

Atley is finally doing well! It's been such a struggle these past few weeks to get him to gain weight. At the lowest, he had lost 14% of his birth weight, so we've had him in the doctor every other day for weight checks since we left the hospital. As of Friday, he still had 4 ounces to gain to get back to his birth weight. The doctor was skeptical that we could do it over the weekend since he's had such a hard time gaining, but I think little Atley was  determined that he didn't want to go to the doctor so often anymore either and went on a binge! Literally, this kid was eating every 45 minutes to an hour. Talk about a tired momma! All of the eating paid off big time though and over the weekend he gained a whole 13 ounces! The doctor said that this is unheard of, as most babies gain half and ounce every day at most. We are so, so happy that we don't have to go to the doctor again for 2 whole weeks! Hopefully little Atley will keep the weight and continue to gain, although I wouldn't mind if the eating slowed down a little. Last night was the first night that the doctor said we didn't have to wake him to eat every 2 hours and it was so glorious! This kid likes to sleep at night just like us, and only woke up once for a feeding. It was SO nice! Hopefully he'll stick with this routine, but I'm not convinced yet.

Steve went back to work yesterday and I missed him SO much! He has been such a great help since we came home from the hospital and pretty much has taken care of Asher completely on his own. I thought I would freak out about being home with both boys on my own yesterday, but I could definitely feel God's grace. We even managed to take a nice long walk, hang out with the neighbors and I took both boys with when we went to the doctor, although that part of the day was a challenge when I had to wake Asher up from his nap to drag him along with.


Here's some pics of our cute guys taken in the last week

He loves going to the park to swing!

Asher got to sit on Chris' motorcycle, he wasn't so sure what he thought of it!

Love, love, love my three guys!

My littlest cutie!

Asher loves taking walks in our enormous new double stroller

Introducing Atley Clyde

Our little guy has finally arrived, and I'm so happy to report that for the first time in what feels like forever I am no longer pregnant! Woo-hoo!

Atley Clyde was born on Friday morning at 9:50 am weighing 8 lbs. 3 oz. All went well, except for the doctors shoes got soaked and ruined during the surgery due to the extra massive amount of amniotic fluid that went gushing all over the table and floor in the operating room when my water broke. Funny stuff. This kid looks just like his big brother did when he was a newborn. It's really cute! We sure do know how to make hairy babies!

We're still in the hospital now. Going on day 5, so as you can imagine we're pretty stir crazy. At the last weight check Atley had lost 12% of his birth weight and had elevated bilirubin levels, so we're hoping all is better today and we can go home. Either way, I will be discharged later this afternoon, so we're just praying that we won't have to go home and leave the baby here. I'm feeling pretty optimistic that things will look up and we'll all be leaving together though. I'm excited to start living life as a family of 4.

Asher's doing great and having so much fun with my mom. He still doesn't really have a clue about what's going on. He does seem pretty annoyed if he comes to visit us at the hospital and the baby starts crying though. It's funny to watch him get impatient and annoyed because someone other than him is crying.

Without further ado, here are some pics of our sweet little guy:

Meeting Atley for the first time

Asher meeting his little brother. He wasn't so sure what he thought of this invader.

Our first family photo!

Can you tell that I'm totally smitten with this kid?

Steve thinks he's okay to.

Life and babies and all that jazz....

Hello world. One would think my New Year's resolution was to NOT blog. That is not the case, we've just had a lot going on and honestly, I've just been tired so it's been on the bottom of my priority list and I'm just fine with that.

So what's going on with us you might ask? Asher is huge, 6 1/2 months now and loving the solid food journey! I'm afraid our little boy might have an appetite like his dad and I'm expecting our grocery bills to skyrocket with every passing year.
Steve's still working his butt off and coming home exhausted every night.
I'm still doing the stay at home mom gig and love it. I haven't been getting out of the house much, but am working on that. It's just so hard to get motivated when it's so darn cold outside.

My waist continues to expand, but I can't blame it entirely on eating to many goodies over the holiday's.  Yep, I'm knocked up again and we are all so excited around here! I went to meet my new OB a couple of weeks ago thinking I was just 5 or so weeks along, but it turns out this baby has been in my belly for awhile now (12 1/2 weeks to be exact).

Apparently I got pregnant the week before my appendix ruptured and it never showed up on the pregnancy test they gave me at the hospital before they started my IV and whisked me off to surgery. I guess our little baby is quite the fighter to have survived such an ordeal. I never even fathomed that I was pregnant for those few weeks after my surgery, because anytime I felt bad I blamed it on my appendix and never realized there could have been something else going on. My first inclination that I could be pregnant was when I got really bad heartburn a few days before Christmas. Heartburn seems to be a staple with pregnancy for me.

Anyway, so Asher will be a big brother sometime around the end of July just after he turns one. I'm so thankful. As crazy as it sounds, we prayed that I would be able to pregnant as soon as the doctor gave us the okay, and our prayers have been answered!

So that's what's new in our neck of the woods.

Asher is 4 months old!

I can't believe our little boy is 4 months old today! It seems like the last 4 months have gone by so quickly, but it also feels like Asher's been with us forever. We are just as in love as possible with this little boy.

Lately I've just been feeling so incredibly blessed - blessed that God trusts us with this sweet little boy. I know ultimately he's really just been put on loan to us from God and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to parent him. I know that everything we have is Gods, but somehow when it comes down to the reality of it all, both the hardest and easiest thing to give up to God is our child. It's hard because our son means everything in the world to us. Our cars and house can be replaced, but this little boy is irreplaceable and to so willingly give him back to the God who has given him to us in the first place feels heartbreaking. On the other hand, it's also very easy because we know that this wonderful God that we've entrusted our entire lives to only wants what's best for us and our child and there's so much comfort in knowing that He will always take care of us and our family. It's so comforting to know that we're not alone and that we have a God to put our trust on this journey called parenting.

Our little guy is now just a little over 18 pounds. He is so much fun. Always smiling and giggling and loves to look at himself in the mirror. He sits up like a champ, but has yet to roll over. I think he's working on getting his first tooth right now. He is the sweetest and happiest little baby that I have ever laid eyes on....of course I am just a little biased though.

Happy 4 month birthday Asher!

Halloween

We celebrated twice this year - once in St. Louis and once in Madison.

We actually didn't even get a costume for Asher because we didn't think we'd be home for Halloween, but Missy happened to have 2 costumes that she bought on clearance after Halloween last year that wouldn't fit any of her kids, so we decided to dress Asher up in those and I'm so glad we did!

On Saturday he was a horse, all dressed up for the annual harvest party that our old church in St. Louis throws every year. We only stopped by for a few minutes, but the little horse looked cute!

We left early Sunday morning, very ready to get back to Madison and made it home just in time for all the trick or treaters to show up! I think this is the first year we've actually been home to hand out candy on Halloween since we've moved here, so we weren't sure exactly how many kids would stop by, but we actually had quite a few!

This time Asher was a Zebra and SOOOO cute!

sitting by the door waiting for the little trick or treaters to show up

Shot #2

I took the little guy in to get another shot yesterday. I was hoping he would respond like he did last time by giggling the whole time. I didn't fare quite that well, but I can't complain. He cried for a total of maybe 3 seconds and then was completely fine and didn't seem fussy or affected at all by the shot for the rest of the day. Maybe it's just easier on him since I only take him in to get one shot at a time rather than the usual 3 that most babies get.

We'll see how it goes next month.

I did have him weighed as long as we were at the doctors office and he's now weighing in at 17.5 pounds!

He's almost ready to outgrow his infant carseat. I'm expecting that he'll be rolling over any day now. He sure has been trying hard!

3 Months!

Somebody's looking pretty rough and tough!

I realized I haven't posted pictures of our big little guy in awhile, so here goes! He is still growing like crazy! What's amazing is that he's really started to slow down on how much he eats and is actually eating quite a bit less than what is recommended for his weight (16 pounds a few weeks ago, I haven't weighed him since). Since he's growing so quickly though, I'm not concerned.

On to other extremely exciting news, he has moved into his own room and the big boy crib! The cradle is still in our room, but will be going out to the garage to be stored sometime soon. It was almost like Amelia passed on the good sleeper torch while she was here. He not only started sleeping through the night, but also has started more of a routine with naps. He pretty much will sleep from 10 pm - 6 am now and it's so great! What's surprising is how tired I've felt! Amazingly, now that I'm getting some more solid sleep I feel almost more tired than I was when I was waking up to feed him. It's so darn weird.

Anyway, our little guy is just as cute as ever and every day I'm amazed at the new things he's learning and how quickly he's growing. Sometimes I still feel kind of in shock that I'm actually a parent! Steve and I are so in love with this kid and it's hard to look back and imagine our lives without him in it. He brings so much joy to us!

Without further ado, here's some recent pics.

He look like a little old man in this one! So cute!

I can't get enough of those cute chubby cheeks!

You want me to do what?!?!

I had the first "I'm the worst mom in the whole world" experience last night.

When Asher was first born and still in the hospital he got a little scratch on his cheek from his fingernails. I felt so bad and since then have tried to be very diligent about making sure his nails are filed down every other day. Steve and I often joke and call him "Wolverine" because it seems like this kids nails are constantly growing. I'm not sure if this is normal for newborns or not?

Anyway, so I filed down his nails on Saturday, but then yesterday afternoon Steve was feeding him and noticed something on his eyeball. After looking a little closer he realized that our son had a very small scratch on his eyeball and it looked like it had been bleeding. Naturally, we both freaked out. I felt so bad that our little boy had scratched his eyeball. He didn't seem like he was in pain and was happy as a clam, but still I felt so horrible. I cried for a good long while after telling Steve that we could never have any more kids because I had to be the world's worst mom.

I didn't sleep well last night because I kept thinking about the poor little guy's eyeball and wondering crazy things like if he was now blind (which it doesn't seem like he is). My mind ran wild.

He seems fine today - totally happy and not fussing at all, but I still feel bad. I called the doctor this morning to see what I should do and of all things she told me to spray a little breast milk in his eye. Not the answer I was expecting at all. Apparently it works like neosporin and is a natural antibiotic for babies with cuts and scrapes. I would have never known. She said he was probably fine and to bring him in if he seems like he's in pain or his eye gets swollen and pussy.

For now I'll try the breast milk trick. I am so amazed by God's intricate design that he truly thought of everything when he made us - even down the ingredients of the breast milk and all of the nutrition and healing properties that would come out of it. So amazing!

Some of Asher's favorite things...

Asher's list is a little less comprehensive than mine. But, he does have a few favorites that he just couldn't live without, and I think it's really cute!

He absolutely loves this giraffe that Ben & Katie got him. He doesn't get fussy all to often, but those few times that he does, all we have to do is pull out his friend the giraffe and all is well in the world again.

This wall! Seriously, this kid spends hours upon hours just staring up and smiling at this wall where it meets the shelf. I guess it's the contrast in color mixed with the fact that it's not so crazy and overstimulating like so many toys out there these days. Seriously, he loves staring at this wall and I find it so funny.

So many times I think he's being all cute and smiling at me while we sit on the couch, but then I realize he's really just excited to stare at the wall and I'm just chopped liver. It just goes to show that kids really don't need all the fancy toys and gadgets to keep them entertained!

Asher's Newborn Pics

Last week we went over to Tasha's and she took some pictures of our handsome little man. We went at a time when Asher's normally sleeping, but he must have known something was up, because he decided to stay awake and make funny faces at the camera.

These are some of my favorites:

Meeting Grandpa...

Asher met Grandpa Rod for the first time yesterday. Steve's dad was in town just for a day for work, so we got to meet up for dinner and introduce him to his grandson. Never have I so quickly seen such a big guy turn into such a sappy teddy bear! Grandpa was absolutely enthralled with meeting his grandson for the first time, and it was so cute!

The grandparent mayhem will continue for the next few weeks. My mom's flying in for a visit on Monday and has literally been emailing me every single day for the last month telling me how excited she is to meet Asher.

We'll head to St. Louis over labor day weekend to see Grandpa Rod again and introduce Asher to Grandma Rod.

Two weeks after that my dad and stepmom are coming to make their introductions.

It should be a busy month with lots of family time!

The Enchilada Diet....

I'm starting to think that Enchilada's may just be my lucky charm.

Let's go back to the day I went into labor..... It was a frustrating Saturday and all I wanted was to get our little guy out of me. I asked Steve to go to the grocery store and get some spicy food and make me some enchilada's for lunch, hoping that would speed things along a bit. Obviously, it did the trick when 15 minutes after finishing our meal my water broke.

Fast forward to yesterday....Annie was coming over for dinner and requested that Steve make some Enchiladas. This is the first time we've had enchiladas since the big water breaking experience. I jokingly told Annie that who knows what could happen after I fed Asher because it just seems like he might have a thing for enchiladas. It had been a frustrating last week because he's been going through some kind of growth spurt and has been waking up every hour to hour and a half to feed both night and day. Annie went home, I fed the baby and we all went to bed. Normally I just stay up till 12:30 or so when Asher wakes to feed and then go to bed after that until his next feeding. Last night I was so tired though and so when he fell asleep for his little catnap at 11:00 I decided I'd just go to bed to. Imagine my surprise when I woke to his little cries at 4:30.

I woke up Steve just to make sure that he hadn't woken up before and Steve had given him a bottle, but he said he hadn't. In my sleepy foggy state I almost wanted to do cartwheels when I had the realization - our boy had slept a full 5 1/2 hours!

No wonder I felt so good! That's the longest stretch of sleep I've had in months (even when I was pregnant I never slept that long due to my always full bladder, horrible heartburn and achy back).

I just couldn't believe it and thought maybe there was something to the enchiladas after all. Really, I know it's just a coincidence, but let me tell you, if there was even a chance that enchiladas would help get this kid to sleep through the night, I would be completely on board going with an all enchilada diet!

Here's to a great day after a good night's sleep!

Hi Grandma!

Just a quick video that we made for grandma yesterday. Not the best quality as I shot it with my blackberry while I was holding Asher (hence all the jiggles) but I just love seeing this boy smile!

He's smiling a lot these days and they've become the more social smiles rather than the "I'm trying to fill up my diaper" smiles. It's so sweet.

I realize that my blog has become all about pregnancy for the past 10 months and now all about this sweet little guy. I will try to remedy that and make it not completely all about babies, but our world now revolves around this little person that has stolen our hearts, so there's not room for much more. I will make an effort though. Just not today. :)

Things are well at home. I'm feeling better and better every day! Asher is doing great and growing like a weed! Yesterday we went to the lactation consultant and he was 10 lbs. 5 oz! Last Wednesday at the doctor he was 9 lbs. 9 oz, so we're no longer concerned about if he's eating enough! He's developing quite the personality - something I didn't expect at this young age!

We will be getting a referral to start sending him to a speech pathologist. No, our child is not such an overachiever that he's attempting to talk already, but he is having some issues with thrusting his tongue (hence my worries about him not getting enough food with nursing). Although our worries about him getting enough milk are over, the tongue thrusting is affecting how he eats and down the road could affect his speech, so the doctor wants us to learn some tongue exercises to start doing with him to get rid of the thrusting.

We had our first major public blow out on Sunday. I was sitting out at Steve's hurling game holding Asher on my lap and little man decided it was a good time to relive himself. It was pretty major - went through his onesie, shorts and then all over my jeans. Seriously, it was not a pretty site! I got Asher all cleaned up and changed, but as for me, I spent the rest of the game getting attacked by little fleas that were attracted to the crap on my jeans. So not fun, but at least now I can laugh about it! Poor Amber is getting ready to have her first baby in November and I think I scared her a little bit. I had to assure her that although we've had a few incidents similar to this, this way by far the worst!

That's what's happening in our neck of the woods this week!

Two Weeks Already....

Our little sweet Asher is two weeks old today. It's amazing how much life can change in just 14 days. This kid has completely stolen our hearts and we are head over heels in love.

Steve goes back to work tomorrow. I'm not sure who's more upset....me or him. He is so sad to have to be separated from our boy all day long and it's so cute. He has been such an amazing help to me as I've been in recovery. Not once have I done a load of laundry or any cooking. Speaking of cooking....we have been so blessed by all of the amazing people that have brought us meals. Seriously, it's been the biggest help ever as the thought of putting together a meal in our exhausted state seems like pretty much the most impossible task ever. We have been so amazed by all of the friends that have gone out of their way to support and welcome our little man into the world.

Asher is doing well. He's really such a sweet little baby and is overall pretty much happy all of the time. We love it! We've had a few fun experiences in the last week and a half. We gave Asher his first bath, during which he pooped 3 times and peed once. Needless to say, the bath took a little bit longer than expected.

In this last week Asher has started to make eye contact with us. It's so sweet and special. He also makes some pretty great faces.

I stopped by my office to pick up my paycheck this week and ended up not being able to leave for 2 hours. All of my residents were so excited to meet Asher and as soon as I walked into the building the phone chain started as they all called each other to spread the word that the baby was in the building, It was so sweet to see them all get so excited!

Steve and I are doing well. We're pretty much exhausted, but that's to be expected. Strangely, our bodies seem to be adjusting. We'll see if I still say this after reality sets in this week and I'm on my own while Steve's at work. It should be a busy week. Between Asher and myself we have at least one doctors appointment every day. I am healing up nicely and have been slowly weaning off of my pain meds so that I'm able to drive again. Tomorrow I'll go to get my incision checked out and feeling confident that everything will look good. As tiring as the last few weeks have been, I've really felt God's grace in my recovery. It's been painful and tiring at times, but every day I'm starting to feel a little bit better. We've been taking walks every day, and although I still am not getting around like I used to I know it's only a matter of time.

For now though, all I want to do is soak up every minute that I have with our sweet boy and treasure every single moment that we have together. I can already see how much he's grown and changed in just 2 weeks, and I know that before we know he'll be growing like a weed. I want to get all of my snuggles in now while he'll let me. I never really get sick of holding him and looking into his sweet eyes. I never ever could have imagined that I could feel this much love in my heart for this little man that I've known just a mere two weeks, but Steve and I are both in agreement that our lives will never ever be the same now that this precious little guy has come along and completely stolen our hearts.

The Birth Story....

Caution: this is long!

It was Saturday afternoon. I was feeling pretty miserable and asked Steve to go to the store and get some spicy food to make me some enchiladas for lunch, hoping that maybe it would bring about labor. Little did I know....

After lunch I went down to the basement guest room to lay down for a few minutes and suddenly felt like I had wet my pants. I stood up to run to the bathroom and immediately felt a gush and yelled up to Steve that I was pretty sure my water had just broken. I hadn't been having any contractions to indicate that labor was on the way, so I was pretty surprised by all of this.

I immediately called our midwife and she told me to hurry my way on in to the hospital. We got to the hospital and because I had tested positive for strep B, I immediately was hooked up to an IV. The midwife checked me and I still was only dilated 1 cm. She suggested inserting some cervadil into my cervix to soften things up a bit and hopefully help me dilate more.

I was hesitant at first, because I really didn't want to take any measures to speed things along, but because my water had broken and I was showing no signs of labor the midwife thought this was the best way to go. Within 20 minutes of getting the cervidal I was having contractions just 3 and 4 minutes apart and they were SO painful - mostly I felt them in my back. Also, I got really nauseated. With every contraction I had to vomit and it wasn't long before the enchiladas were out of my system and I was throwing up the acid in my stomach. So not fun.

Around 6:00 pm I really started to feel the pain and was having a hard time breathing through the contractions. I tried sitting, standing, laying down, walking, and bouncing on the exercise ball. Steve was so great and so supportive through it all as were the nurses in the birthing center. Finally, one of the nurses suggested I get in the whirlpool tub and that seemed to help a little bit, so I hung out there for the next 3 hours.

Still vomiting, my contractions were lasting about a 1 minute and were still 3 minutes apart.

Finally, the next morning at 8:00 am the midwife suggested we check my progress to see how dilated I was. I was so discouraged that I had only made it to 4 centimeters. It was at that point that the midwife became concerned that labor would not progress unless we helped it out a bit. I wouldn't have been that big of a deal if my water hadn't broken the afternoon before, but they normally like to have the baby out within 24 hours of the water breaking. So, it was decided, much to my dismay that I go on pitocin to speed things up. I was so nervous about this as I've heard the statistics and that many times pitocin leads to a c-section, but because it really was medically necessary we didn't really have much of a choice.

At this point I was going on 17 hours of labor, still vomiting with every contraction and having horrible back labor. I decided around 10:00 am that I just couldn't take it anymore and asked for an epidural. Holy mother, it felt nice! Despite being numb and having to have a catheter inserted it was so nice to not feel those contractions. The vomiting slowed down, although never really went away.

We spent the next few hours watching the monitor to see how the contractions were progressing. Often times they would come right on top of each other and I was so grateful that I wasn't feeling them. I was exhausted, after having spent the entire night in labor, but unfortunately even with the epidural was unable to get some rest.

Around 3:00 pm our nurse rushed into the room and immediately paged the rest of the nurses and doctors on the floor. Within seconds I was surrounded 5 nurses, my midwife and 2 doctors. I was put on oxygen and they were moving me from one side to another and then ended up inserting something into me to attach to the baby's head. I don't think I have ever felt so helpless or scared in my entire life. I still didn't know what was happening, but happened to glance at the monitor and saw that the baby's heart rate was down to 52. All afternoon it had been between 130-160 (the normal range). I still don't really understand everything that happened as it's all kind of a blur, but they somehow ended up shocking the baby and eventually his heart rate went back up. The whole process lasted just a few minutes, but seemed to drag on for an eternity. After everything settled down and I realized that we had almost lost our precious little boy I lost it and couldn't stop crying.

It was then decided that I needed an emergency c-section. Avoiding a c-section unless it was absolutely necessary was the most important part of my birth plan, (literally, I had underlined and put stars next to that part of the birth plan just to make sure they knew my thoughts on the subject) so naturally, I was devastated.

The surgeon came in to introduce herself before they were going to start preparing for surgery and could tell how upset I was to have to have a c-section. Since the baby was stable again, she suggested we check just one more time to see if I had dilated any. As it turns out in that 15 minutes since the incident I had dilated from a 4 to an 8. Everyone was shocked. The surgeon said that since the baby was stable if we'd like we could disconnect the pitocin to make sure we kept the baby safe and then wait it out a bit longer to see if I would dilate to a 10. I was so happy!

We waited for another 2 hours, monitoring contractions and the baby's heart rate. The midwife came in to check me and I was so hopeful that I had made it to 10 cm's. Unfortunately I was still at 8 though. At that point nobody felt comfortable with me waiting much longer. It was decided that we would take the lowest possible dose of pitocin to see if it would help and wait for an hour. If nothing changed in that time, we would definitely have to have a c-section.

Looking back, I was so happy for that hour. Steve and I spent that time praying and thanking God for keeping our little boy safe through the previous ordeal of the day and I spent some time praying for a miracle, while I also just asked God to give me a peace no matter what the outcome. As hard as it was, that was an hour I'll never forget. I really just felt a peace knowing that whatever happened God would be with us and submitted our lives and the life of our little guy to him no matter what the outcome.

Our hour was up and there was no change. As much as I didn't want a c-section, I felt a peace in my heart that this was the right choice. I didn't want to risk doing anything to harm our boy and whatever would get him out of me in the safest way was what I wanted to do.

They started prepping me for surgery and although I was at peace with the decision, I felt very scared to have such a major surgery. I had never been admitted to the hospital in my life, and the closest I have ever come to having surgery was having my wisdom teeth removed, so naturally the thought of them cutting me open and removing my insides to get to a baby was a little overwhelming.

They moved me to the OR and began prepping me for surgery. Whatever they gave me to numb me made me feel horrible and I immediately started vomiting again as well as started shaking uncontrollably. Steve got decked out in scrubs and after they had me fully prepped was able to join me in the operating room. Having him next to me for the surgery brought so much comfort to me. The surgery in itself didn't take all the long. After just about 15 minutes I heard the sounds of my sweet baby boy crying. They held him up for me to see before whisking him away to get tests done. I can honestly say that it was the most amazing moment of my entire life. Our midwife also attended the surgery and took pictures.

Here's my first view of our sweet Asher Struck Rodriguez.

Asher Struck Rodriguez was born with a boom on the 4th of July at 9:39 pm. He weighed 8 lbs. 10 oz and was 20 inches long.

Between my exhaustion and the medication, I was completely out of it at this point, but the one thing I knew was that I was so in love with this little boy. Steve went to join Asher for his tests and they started putting me back together. It's so crazy that it took only 15 minutes or so to get him out of me, and more than hour to put me back together. After Asher got all cleaned up they brought him over so that I could look at him while they continued to sew me up. I was still shaking uncontrollably, so I couldn't really touch him, but just to look him in the eyes was amazing.

For the rest of my surgery he just laid there and looked and me with not so much as a whimper. It was such a special time. Steve is such a proud papa!

We are so blessed to have this little angel in our lives! He didn't exactly come into the world in the way that we had anticipated, but we are just happy that he's here. After the surgery we were told that not only was he in a posterior position (hence the horrible back labor), but also had the cord wrapped around his neck twice. We are so grateful that God kept him safe and it actually made us feel very grateful for the c-section as who knows what could have happened otherwise.

Recovery has been rough. With the exhaustion of 29 hours of labor and all the emotional roller coaster this last week has been we've had a lot of ups and downs. My hospital stay was not the most pleasant. The day that my IV was finally disconnected and I was able to get up and take a shower I blacked out in the bathroom, hit my head and was unconscious for 3 minutes. Luckily, it was mostly due to exhaustion and the fact that I hadn't eaten in 3 days, so it wasn't due to surgery complications. My incision is very painful and I'm exhausted, but am healing up nicely and for that I'm grateful.

We were so blessed by all of the wonderful staff at Meriter. I can't say enough good things about all of the nurses and doctors that have worked with us.

We're all safely at home now. Asher is having some problems with his bilirubin levels and is on a strict 2 hour feeding schedule night and day. Between the c-section recovery and sleepless nights with all of the feedings we are absolutely exhausted, but that is to be expected with a newborn, so I guess I can't complain to much. Most of all we are just so thankful to have this little man in our lives!

Baby Room Pictures!

38 Weeks!

Things are shaping up around here! I finally feel like I'm starting to feel more prepared for this little guy to arrive! Good thing, since I have just 2 weeks left! The baby's room is finally complete, minus a few little things. Yesterday I was able to get our neglected living room clean and most of the kitchen. Let's not even talk about the basement though which is quickly filling up with boxes of stuff that need to be sorted, thrown out or stored.

I was finally able to get our printer out of the crawl space and set it up....yea! This has been in it's unopened box for well over a year now and somehow ended up in the crawl space before we had some people move in with us. Access to the crawl space is through the guest bedroom closet, so we've been without a printer for as long as we've had people living with us. You never really know just how much you need a printer until you don't have one.

Anyway back to the baby's room! Here are the completed pictures!

A few months ago I had found this wall decal on etsy with a tree and an owl that I really loved, but couldn't justify spending the money on. I then decided to go with an owl theme, until I got this super cute elephant picture (you can kind of see it in one of the below pictures) in the mail from my good friend Sara (yes, out of my 7 seven closest friends, 3 of them happen to be named Sarah - it can get kind of confusing). So, I decided to switch the theme up to elephants. These little wall decals are so cheap and add so much to a room! I'm really happy with how it turned out!

I've never been a person that prefers polka dots and stripes together, but since I needed an area rug and already had this one sitting around (fall clearance at Target 2 years ago for $5.00) I decided to see if I could make it work with the polka dot crib sheets and throw pillow (also clearance from Target) and think it actually doesn't look so bad! Definitely forcing me out of my box, and I still can't say that I prefer it 100%, but it still works!

Changing table - you can kind of see the elephant picture I mentioned. The changing pad cover was also clearance at Target from a totally different line than the crib sheets, but somehow the colors still match perfectly and they look like a set that goes together!

Other side of the room.

You all know I'm a cheap wad, but I actually spent more money on the baby's room than I think I have ever spent on any room of any house we've had (see our guest room for under $100 here ) .

That being said, I think we still got a pretty good bargain on this room considering how much new furniture we bought for it. I spent a total of $450 on baby's room, but that includes the crib, crib mattress, dresser/changing table, glider chair (which was originally over $500 in itself until we found it on clearance), wall decor, crib sheets, changing pad and covers, area rug, curtains, curtain rod, throw pillow and paint). One of the dressers -the one that looks a little beat up (above) and the lamp we already had.

I'm happy with how everything turned out - mostly I'm just happy that we were able to finish it before our little guy arrived! I'm also pleased with the green paint. I was nervous that it might look bad with all the other different greens in the room, but I think it turned out okay.

Here's a before pic taken before we moved everything out so Steve could start painting. It's amazing what a little paint and TLC can do!

Check out the hideous curtains (all wadded up). Those were courtesy of the previous owners - I was very happy to throw them in the trash!

26 1/2 Week Ultrasound

We had another ultrasound last week and it went great! This is a picture of our little guy yawning. He kept doing that the whole entire ultrasound. He was moving around a lot as well, but unfortunately was in a breached position and refused to wiggle into a different position, so it made it kind of hard to get some quality pictures. I had to lay on my side most of the ultrasound just to see what they could.

The good news is that everything's looking good! The femur is still shorter then the doctor would like, but other then that all is well. We don't even have to go back for any more follow up ultrasounds to monitor some of the growth areas that the doctors were concerned about. Speaking of growth, our child is no longer obese as well! He was way ahead of the average as far as weight was concerned at an ultrasound we had last month, but he seems to have evened out and is right on target now. We are so, so happy!

As far as other baby news is concerned, we went to our first birthing class last night. Meriter has this great 6 week series on birth, infant care and breastfeeding. It really kind of hit me in the middle of the class that in just 12 weeks I would be pushing what will feel like a giant human being out of my body. Needless to say, I had a mild freak out on the drive home. When I start to think about labor I get so scared. I think it's more the fear of the unknown rather than the pain, but I just can't help but feel so afraid when I start thinking about it all. Hopefully this is normal, right?

Next week I go back to the midwives again to get some more blood work done and get my rhogam (sp?) injection. Not looking forward to that, as I'm not a fan of needles.

Anyway, gotta get back to life. Half day at work today and then I have a zillion things to do after that. Just thinking about it all makes me exhausted.