You want me to do what?!?!

I had the first "I'm the worst mom in the whole world" experience last night.

When Asher was first born and still in the hospital he got a little scratch on his cheek from his fingernails. I felt so bad and since then have tried to be very diligent about making sure his nails are filed down every other day. Steve and I often joke and call him "Wolverine" because it seems like this kids nails are constantly growing. I'm not sure if this is normal for newborns or not?

Anyway, so I filed down his nails on Saturday, but then yesterday afternoon Steve was feeding him and noticed something on his eyeball. After looking a little closer he realized that our son had a very small scratch on his eyeball and it looked like it had been bleeding. Naturally, we both freaked out. I felt so bad that our little boy had scratched his eyeball. He didn't seem like he was in pain and was happy as a clam, but still I felt so horrible. I cried for a good long while after telling Steve that we could never have any more kids because I had to be the world's worst mom.

I didn't sleep well last night because I kept thinking about the poor little guy's eyeball and wondering crazy things like if he was now blind (which it doesn't seem like he is). My mind ran wild.

He seems fine today - totally happy and not fussing at all, but I still feel bad. I called the doctor this morning to see what I should do and of all things she told me to spray a little breast milk in his eye. Not the answer I was expecting at all. Apparently it works like neosporin and is a natural antibiotic for babies with cuts and scrapes. I would have never known. She said he was probably fine and to bring him in if he seems like he's in pain or his eye gets swollen and pussy.

For now I'll try the breast milk trick. I am so amazed by God's intricate design that he truly thought of everything when he made us - even down the ingredients of the breast milk and all of the nutrition and healing properties that would come out of it. So amazing!