Job Offer: no pay, long hours, always on call. Benefits will last a lifetime!

Whenever Steve and I have some time to ourselves to sit down and talk I always seem to ask him the same question.....What are you learning in life?

In order to ask the question I feel like I need to be able to answer it myself.

So here goes with what I'm learning in life.

I'm learning that sometimes the little things are the most important. Things like spending quality time with my family and not over committing my time to things that are really non-essential.

I'm learning to think about what I'd like to call "the 5 year rule". Will it really matter in 5 years? If the answer is no, then I don't feel bad about letting things slide. I'm learning that this precious time with my constantly growing child is really what I'm called to right now.

So many times people spend their whole life looking for their calling. Guess what mine became the day I got pregnant? Caring for this child. I don't take for granted this tiny human being that God has graciously lent me. I know that raising this child to know and love Jesus and be good to and respect others has now become my calling and I don't take that lightly. I don't ever want to be the mom or wife that puts my family on the back burner, so for this season of life my calling is to my family and I embrace that with all of my heart. Sometimes I find myself feeling down because I feel somewhat insignificant. I struggle somedays with feeling like my whole life revolves around pumping, feeding the baby, changing diapers and folding laundry. Really though, I know there's so much more to it than that and I want to treasure every single moment that I have.

I can't even begin to count how many times my mom has told me that the most devastating moment of her life was when she first went back to work and had to take us kids to daycare after my dad left us. To this day, she still feels guilty that she had 2 more years at home with Andy than she did with me. At least once a week I get an email from her telling me how proud she is that I decided to take a leap of faith to quit my job in order to stay home with Asher. She said those few years she had home with us kids were the absolute best years of her life.

I may feel insignificant, but I know that God has called me to "just be a mom" in this season of life and ultimately that is the most important job I've ever had. I'm learning to focus on what's really important. This may be a lifelong lesson, but at least I'm learning as I go.

Hello Maternity Leave!

It's supposedly my last day of work....woo hoo! I am so ready to be done. I hired my replacement, but may end up coming back for a little while next week to finish up some training. As much as I'm excited to not be working, I am going to miss my coworkers and all of my wonderful clients. I wouldn't say that I absolutely love my job, but I do like it and that's gotta count for something.

My coworkers threw me a baby shower on Wednesday. It was so sweet and thoughtful, and I ended up getting quite a few of the little necessities that I would have had to go out and buy otherwise, so it was a definite blessing! A couple of weeks ago all of my residents surprised me with a giant card signed by each one of them and it was stuffed with $1.00 bills. It was so sweet! I told Steve that I was scared to carry around all of those $1's, because I was afraid people might get the wrong idea of what kind of business I was in! Ha! :)

I'm starting to run out of energy. It will be a busy next few days. Brat fest with friends tonight, Minneapolis on Saturday and Sunday and Eau Claire on Monday. As much as I'm looking forward to fun, I'm not looking forward to coming home exhausted. At least I can sleep in (or try to) on Tuesday.

I am so proud of my husband. As you all may know he's not exactly the handiest guy ever, but he's been totally stepping out of his comfort zone lately. In the last week alone he's been working on constructing a box to fit our church BBQ grill in for easy transport, he's taken apart and fixed our garbage disposal which had completely gone out, fixed our garage door opener that hasn't worked in 2 months and installed a new a/c window unit in our bedroom (he had to do a bit of construction to make it fit).
One of the greatest gifts we ever received was the Home Depot 1-2-3 book that Jeff & Lindsay gave us when we bought our house here in Madison. They told us it was one of those "must have" books for homeowners, and Steve and I agree! He's learned so much and grown so much in his handy man skills in the past few years and I'm so proud of him!

4 days till freedom....

The end of pregnancy is finally starting to draw near!

I spent last week interviewing candidates to take over my job and will spend this week tying up loose ends and training my replacement (assuming she accepts the position, otherwise it's back to the drawing board with interviews). I'm so excited to go on maternity leave! I'm glad it's finally here because as far as work attire goes, I'm down to 1 pair of pants and 1 skirt that fits. I am seriously so over coming to work every morning and can't wait to be finished! Now that I have just a few days left I am getting so antsy to get out of here!

Other changes - I'm continuing to grow! I had to take off my wedding ring (which used to be too big) the other day and pretty much live in my sweats when I'm home. Who am I kidding though, I pretty much lived in sweats at home before I was pregnant to!


It was so funny, because when we were back in St. Louis because everyone kept telling me that I didn't look all that enormously pregnant, but all along everyone here in Madison keeps asking me if I'm having twins. I'm not sure where all the differing of opinions is coming from, but I know I feel large and uncomfortable - especially now that things are heating up! It's been in the upper 80's here in Madison these past 2 days and I have learned the pregnancy and heat don't mix so well. Let's just say I'm a little bit cranky. Lucky for me, I'm married to the nicest, most understanding man in the universe.


These next few weeks should be busy, but in a good way. These past 2 months have been absolutely crazy, but now life should start to slow down a bit. We have so much to do around the house before the baby comes, but it's been driving me crazy not being able to work on these things, so although I'll be pretty busy before our little guy arrives, I'm really looking forward to marking a bunch of tasks off my to-do list. I know being busy with stuff around the house is a whole lot more fun then being busy with stuff at the office, so that in itself should be refreshing!

To top it off starting next week we'll now have our Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights back! It will be so nice to not have to worry about coming home from work exhausted only to have to have something to do after a quick dinner. I am SO going to soak up this season before our little guy arrives!

Bittersweet News...

We got some good and bad news yesterday.

The bad news is that yesterday while Steve was on his lunch break (at the place where he's been working as a temp for the last 2 months) his boss got fired. He and his boss have actually become pretty good friends and he's been really been talking Steve up and encouraging management to hire him on permanently.

The good news is that after his lunch break yesterday Steve was offered the job as the supervisor in charge of the warehouse. Of course Steve will take the job, but it's been a little hard to get excited when he's taking the job of a good man and friend. His boss was a very hard worker and everyone was shocked when they let him go yesterday. Steve talked to him for awhile on the phone last night and thankfully everything is fine between them.

Effective yesterday Steve is the managing supervisor. They told him that they will keep him on through the temp agency to feel things out a bit and then once they see that things are working out they'll hire him on permanently. He's got a big job ahead of him. The fact that they're giving to a position to a new guy that's a temp says a lot - not only about Steve's work ethic, but also about the work ethic of the other employees there (some of them have worked there for 10+ years) that actually know a little bit about the organization. Steve knows that he has his work cut out for him - especially since he's never worked in a supervisory role, but I am so confident that he can do this and he'll do great.

I am so proud of my husband. He is such a good man - full of integrity, hard working and respectful of others. We've been married for three years now and it seems like with each passing day I become more and more grateful for the wonderful husband that God has provided me with. I am so in love with this wonderful man and feel so blessed to have him as my husband and friend.

We'll see where all this news takes us. At this point we're cautiously optimistic and trying to figure out why things are happening the way they are. We're grateful to God for his provision and praying that everything works out for the best for everyone involved.

Another 3 bite the dust...

Yesterday we had another "termination party" at work. They let 3 more people go. I just don't get it!
We're a relatively small company and although we have quite a few people working at our plants our corporate office only has about 40 employee's.
Since I've been there (not even a year) they've "eliminated" the positions of about 13 people at our corporate office. They say the position is no longer necessary and they were forced to get rid of people, but then just weeks later they hire someone new for the position....apparently it's a necessary position again. It's all politics really.

One of the guys they let go yesterday got married just last week and it was his first day back from his honeymoon....he hadn't even been at work for an hour and half when they let him go. I felt so bad for him as he's not only a really nice guy but also really good at his job. What a way to say congrats on your recent wedding eh?

I just makes me really glad that I'll be leaving in a few months. Realistically my job isn't in danger, they couldn't really eliminate my position and I'm confident that they wouldn't find fault in the job that I do. Even if they were to decide to give me the axe, I really wouldn't stress too much about it as I'm going to be leaving in a few months anyway. It just makes me sad though for the people that really didn't see this coming and don't' know what to do next.
A few months ago they had a day where they got rid of 5 employee's and from that group 2 of them had been at the company for more than 15 years, just weeks later they hired some new younger faces. What a way to say thanks for you dedication huh?

I know it's not really the smartest to blog about your job, but since I haven't mentioned the company name and at this point will be leaving in a few months anyway I don't really see the harm in it. I'm just frustrated. I don't understand why as a society all we same to care about is money anymore and it doesn't matter if we throw away our integrity or the value we place on people as long as we get to the top of that darn corporate ladder.

When it all comes down to it, it's really just about a dollar bill. I have to say a big "NO THANKS" to all of that. I like money like anyone else, but I have to say that I would much rather go to bed with a clear conscience at night knowing that I placed more value on the people around me then what's in my bank account.

It's no wonder why there's starving children in Africa....us American's don't even have the decency to take care of each other and treat our neighbors with respect let alone think about some innocent child on the other side of the earth!

Okay....all of this has got me off the topic and now I'm ready to rant and rave about how self absorbed our society is, so I better end this here before I get all worked up.

mmmm.....what's going on.

I haven't blogged in awhile. We've been really busy this week. Our good friend (who was also Steve's best man in our wedding) AJ has been here visiting from Texas so we've been spending lots of time with him. I love seeing how happy Steve is when AJ is around and I so wish he lived closer to us.


Steve & AJ at our wedding
Anyway, so that's been fun. I also haven't blogged much because I'm actually working at job now where I actually have work to do so I can't just sit and surf the net and blog all day long and let me just say that I LOVE it! I definately am a work horse and I get so bored if I don't have anything do to so this job has been good for me. So far I like it - I can't say that I can see myself working for this company for the rest of my life or anything but it's a good job for now. The people are all really great there and I think that's what makes me enjoy it so much. I also really love having a 8-4:30 schedule every day and not having to worry about having to show houses on the nights of weekends.

So....that's the brief (and boring) update. Sorry I don't got more for ya folks.

New Job!

So....the wait is over! I FINALLY got a new job and I feel so relieved.
It's not the job I was originally wanting (see Interview #2 and Justa Job Interview) but it actually is a job with better pay AND hours. It was kind of weird how it came about actually because I don't really know anything about this company and therefore had obviously never sought employment there. Last week a friend of mine called me up that works there though and said they had an opening they thought I would be perfect for.
I really had my heart set on working at the same company Steve works for and for the last 2 months have not pursued any other jobs as I felt a peace about holding out for this one. They had interviewed me twice, and then they told me they were interested in me working there but that my application was being processed and to call back in 2 weeks....for 2 months they told me this!
Anyway....so when this other opportunity popped up I felt good about pursuing it. I went in for the official interview yesterday even though they had already told me that the position was mine and they weren't even opening it up for other applicants.
So....I feel SO relieved. The job is okay....realistically I would have LOVED the job at Steve's company and had they offered it to me I would have taken it even though it's less pay and worse hours than this one, but I"m just happy to have a job. I don't see myself working for this company for the rest of my life or anything like that but I just feel so relieved that I won't be stressed out 24/7 about where the money for our next bill will be coming from. Over the last 2 months I've pretty much drained our savings account of all the money (which wasn't all that much) we had been saving for the down payment on our next house and it's been stressful for me.

So....all that being said I really am grateful for God's provision. These last 2 months without a job has been difficult but looking back I really see God's hand on the situation. I really think the whole situation with being strung along by the company that Steve works for was really God just preparing me and opening up the position for me at the new job that I'll be taking.
I have also learned SO much in these last 2 months about my character and my attitude. I really see now that God was using this season to teach me so much about His heart and I"m grateful for everything I've learned and I really think it's made me a better person.

So my first day is monday. This week I'll be doing drug tests, waiting for my background check to come in and all that jazz. I am excited!!!!

Interview #2

I got called in for a second interview at the company where Steve works! I'll be going in on Wednesday at 12:30 so please keep me in your prayers! I'm REALLY nervous! I'll go in and take a personality test and then I'll meet before the management team which consists of about 8 people! Yep, 8 whole people will be interviewing me all at once! Needless to say I'm freaking out cause I'm not good with interviews at all - not even with one person let alone 8! AGGHHHH!

I REALLY want this job though so i'm praying that it will all work out! This would help so much with some of our financial struggles and it would be a GREAT work environment. I could even ride in to work every day with my husband, how great would that be????

I've had a few other interviews in the recent months and after all of them I left the interview just feeling yucky because I realized it really wasn't a place that I wanted to work, but this one is different. I will be really dissappointed if i don't get it. I really have a peace in my heart about working here.

So that's the update on the job. I'll let ya'll know how the second interview goes.

justa job interview

I haven't been in to blogging lately, probably mostly because there hasn't been to much to blog about.
I did have a job interview this morning so hopefully something will come of that. The interview was for a position at the same company where Steve works and it's a GREAT company - they are not only good to their employess but they also provide a really nice work environment so I really, really, really hope I get this job.
This morning I had to take all the computer assesment tests and then sit down for a one on one interview. If it get asked to go back I will have to have an interview in front of all the deparment heads of the company so it's bound to be a little unnerving.
I'm not good at all at interviews so the thought of interviewing in front of mutiple amount of people makes me want to pee my pants.
I've only had 1 job my entire life that I've actually had to interview for and every other position I've held has been offered to me so I'm not too up with the whole interviewing process.

I know though that it's time for a career change and I'm really ready for that to happen NOW! I'm trying to be patient and I know that God is teaching me a lot through this time but it's not so easy. Ultimately my life is in His hands though so I'm trying to remind myself of that and gain perspective from the fact that how miserable I am at the moment in my current position really isn't a catastrophic event when looked at in the scheme of the big picture of life.

Anyway, please keep me in your prayers that something wil work out!

just an update

It's time for an update on life.

First off I'm living in a pit.
Sunday night we had a birthday party to go to and 25 minutes before we were supposed to be leaving Steve & I got the sudden urge to rip up the carpet in our dining room. It was quite a risky move because we weren't really sure what was underneath the carpet but come to find out there was some okay looking hardwood floors undearneath all that crap.
Now all of our dining room furniture (table included) is in our tiny little living room because now that the carpet is gone we're not sure what to do with our new found wood floors. We're not the craftiest couple so now we need to figure if and how we need to refinish our floors and until then our lives will be lived in confusion.
Sorry folks, but don't come knocking on our door for awhile unless you want to feel like you're sitting in the middle of a junkyard.
I guess we should have thoughts things out a little better BEFORE we decided to rip up our carpet but sometimes it's fun to live by the seat of your pants, right?

On another note I went to a job interview last week. It was an interview for a construction company - it was actually an opportunity I was sought out for not me looking for a job. Anyway....I was kind of excited because it was a pretty well paying job and would solve a lot of our problems.
So I went to the interview - it's about 30 minutes away and the office where i interviewed was really dirty looking. After my interview I was pretty much promised the job but the interviewee (if that is a word) said I would get the final confirmation on Friday.
I came home from the interview and just felt sad. I couldn't really figure it out because I should have felt really excited, but something inside of me was just dreading the thought of this possible new job. I later shared with Steve how I felt. I felt like I didn't really have many options - this job would solve a lot of our financial problems and would also free up money up for us to financially support some of the missionaries we've been wanting to help out - something that has been a desire of my heart for a long time now.
Something inside of me just didn't feel excited though. I just had a hard time figuring out what I would do if this job were to be offered to me. So...Steve and I really prayed about it and just asked God to close the door if this wasn't what He had for me.
Friday came and I got a letter in the mail. Apparently I was overqualified for the job and they'd rather hire someone they could pay less. Most people would be saddedned by this news but words cannot express the joy I felt in my heart after reading this rejection letter. It's strange I know but I now realize that this job would have made me feel like a corpse. In no way would I enjoy even ONE aspect of this job other than the paycheck.

So now I am back to square one. The Real Estate business is okay but I'm just realizing that I just feel dead if I'm not working at a job where I feel I can somehow help people. I want to do something that makes me feel fulfilled and like I'm actually doing something for the good of others.
I just don't know what that is but through my experience last week I've realized that I just can't settle for feeling mediocre and unfulfilled. I really don't know where to go from here but I feel like I've gained some perspective and I just know I have to be true to myself and to who God created me to be and how He created me to feel. I don't know where that will lead me - I wish I did in fact but until I do know I just gotta be patient and somehow learn to take heart with the unfulfillment I feel in my life right now and just trust that something better is just around the corner. Hopefully I'll get to that corner quickly but until I do I just want to be faithful with where God has me now.

New Job?

So I have a job interview this morning and I'm scared. Not necessarily because of the interview but more because of the change.
I HATE change. It's kind of weird how it came about actually. I've been contemplating for awhile changing careers. I'm not really sure why, but I just felt the need for a new challenge and I feel kind of bored with what I'm doing. This is basically how I have been my entire life.
Anyway though.....so I haven't really been looking for a new job - in fact I haven't even made mention to my boss yet that I'm thinking about changing careers. On Monday though I got a call from a Graphic Design firm in Clayton looking to fill a part time position. It was kind of odd to me being that I haven't quite fully made up my mind about the whole career change thing but I figured it could be an opportunity that is the perfect answer to my connundrum.
So i'm going in later this morning to meet the owner of the firm. I'm scared. Not because of the job necessarily but beccause of the major life change that accepting the job would mean.
I could still be in Real Estate - basically just to help out my friends though rather than take on new clients.
What I'm really torn about though is my current boss. I can't really say that I adore my job but I like my boss as a person and she has invested a lot in me. She's been a real mentor to me and has helped me out in the Real Estate business a lot. Now I feel kind of bad to let her down though after she's invested so much in me.
Taken the situation out of the equation though I would have to say that I love the possibility of a new job opportunity and just as I was typing I had this realization that I can't live my life in fear of dissapointing others. Sure, my boss has been wonderful to me and I hate to leave her high and dry, but really.....who am I to think she coudln't go on without me? She doesn't need me so why am I so afraid of letting her down? Why do I care so much about hurting someone else's feelings while in the meantime I'm doing something that I don't enjoy? Sooner or later I would have ended this career regardless so why not make it sooner?
All of this sounds good in theory right now but the reality has a lot of different pros and cons - the money, the hours, the commute (my office now is literally 2 blocks from where I live), the people.
Realistically the break down is this......I work with a great group of people, my hours are flexible, depending on the month I can make okay money, I can literally walk to my office. Doesn't it sound like my current job is a dream job? Well....all this is great except for one thing is missing - I don't have a passion for what I do. I really don't enjoy it to be honest. I'm good at what I do but if I don't somewhat enjoy it what's the purpose?
I don't know if I would even enjoy this new opportunity but isn't it worth giving it a try and feeling it out? I'd rather be happy than feel unfulfilled. That's the precisely the reason why I've worked my measly 10 hours a week at Starbucks all these years as well. It's a fun job and the benefits are great. Too bad the paycheck doens't match everything else.

So....I am confused about which direction to take. I'm processing as I type actually which is how I normally end up coming to a conclusion. I"m realizing though that it truly is ridiculous to stay at job simply out of fear of letting a boss down. I am too much of a people pleaser and need to get over my fears and check out other options. I'm sick of feeling miserable just because of a job. Life has so much more to offer than that and I know that feeling the way that I do is not God's best for me. He doesn't want me to be unhappy or unfulfilled - that's why me made the way I am afterall. Creative and such. Why did I ever think that I could be happy in a job that doesn't even jive with the personality that God created in me?
That's it for now. More to come later.