...........
So I have a job interview this morning and I'm scared. Not necessarily because of the interview but more because of the change.
I HATE change. It's kind of weird how it came about actually. I've been contemplating for awhile changing careers. I'm not really sure why, but I just felt the need for a new challenge and I feel kind of bored with what I'm doing. This is basically how I have been my entire life.
Anyway though.....so I haven't really been looking for a new job - in fact I haven't even made mention to my boss yet that I'm thinking about changing careers. On Monday though I got a call from a Graphic Design firm in Clayton looking to fill a part time position. It was kind of odd to me being that I haven't quite fully made up my mind about the whole career change thing but I figured it could be an opportunity that is the perfect answer to my connundrum.
So i'm going in later this morning to meet the owner of the firm. I'm scared. Not because of the job necessarily but beccause of the major life change that accepting the job would mean.
I could still be in Real Estate - basically just to help out my friends though rather than take on new clients.
What I'm really torn about though is my current boss. I can't really say that I adore my job but I like my boss as a person and she has invested a lot in me. She's been a real mentor to me and has helped me out in the Real Estate business a lot. Now I feel kind of bad to let her down though after she's invested so much in me.
Taken the situation out of the equation though I would have to say that I love the possibility of a new job opportunity and just as I was typing I had this realization that I can't live my life in fear of dissapointing others. Sure, my boss has been wonderful to me and I hate to leave her high and dry, but really.....who am I to think she coudln't go on without me? She doesn't need me so why am I so afraid of letting her down? Why do I care so much about hurting someone else's feelings while in the meantime I'm doing something that I don't enjoy? Sooner or later I would have ended this career regardless so why not make it sooner?
All of this sounds good in theory right now but the reality has a lot of different pros and cons - the money, the hours, the commute (my office now is literally 2 blocks from where I live), the people.
Realistically the break down is this......I work with a great group of people, my hours are flexible, depending on the month I can make okay money, I can literally walk to my office. Doesn't it sound like my current job is a dream job? Well....all this is great except for one thing is missing - I don't have a passion for what I do. I really don't enjoy it to be honest. I'm good at what I do but if I don't somewhat enjoy it what's the purpose?
I don't know if I would even enjoy this new opportunity but isn't it worth giving it a try and feeling it out? I'd rather be happy than feel unfulfilled. That's the precisely the reason why I've worked my measly 10 hours a week at Starbucks all these years as well. It's a fun job and the benefits are great. Too bad the paycheck doens't match everything else.
So....I am confused about which direction to take. I'm processing as I type actually which is how I normally end up coming to a conclusion. I"m realizing though that it truly is ridiculous to stay at job simply out of fear of letting a boss down. I am too much of a people pleaser and need to get over my fears and check out other options. I'm sick of feeling miserable just because of a job. Life has so much more to offer than that and I know that feeling the way that I do is not God's best for me. He doesn't want me to be unhappy or unfulfilled - that's why me made the way I am afterall. Creative and such. Why did I ever think that I could be happy in a job that doesn't even jive with the personality that God created in me?
That's it for now. More to come later.
I HATE change. It's kind of weird how it came about actually. I've been contemplating for awhile changing careers. I'm not really sure why, but I just felt the need for a new challenge and I feel kind of bored with what I'm doing. This is basically how I have been my entire life.
Anyway though.....so I haven't really been looking for a new job - in fact I haven't even made mention to my boss yet that I'm thinking about changing careers. On Monday though I got a call from a Graphic Design firm in Clayton looking to fill a part time position. It was kind of odd to me being that I haven't quite fully made up my mind about the whole career change thing but I figured it could be an opportunity that is the perfect answer to my connundrum.
So i'm going in later this morning to meet the owner of the firm. I'm scared. Not because of the job necessarily but beccause of the major life change that accepting the job would mean.
I could still be in Real Estate - basically just to help out my friends though rather than take on new clients.
What I'm really torn about though is my current boss. I can't really say that I adore my job but I like my boss as a person and she has invested a lot in me. She's been a real mentor to me and has helped me out in the Real Estate business a lot. Now I feel kind of bad to let her down though after she's invested so much in me.
Taken the situation out of the equation though I would have to say that I love the possibility of a new job opportunity and just as I was typing I had this realization that I can't live my life in fear of dissapointing others. Sure, my boss has been wonderful to me and I hate to leave her high and dry, but really.....who am I to think she coudln't go on without me? She doesn't need me so why am I so afraid of letting her down? Why do I care so much about hurting someone else's feelings while in the meantime I'm doing something that I don't enjoy? Sooner or later I would have ended this career regardless so why not make it sooner?
All of this sounds good in theory right now but the reality has a lot of different pros and cons - the money, the hours, the commute (my office now is literally 2 blocks from where I live), the people.
Realistically the break down is this......I work with a great group of people, my hours are flexible, depending on the month I can make okay money, I can literally walk to my office. Doesn't it sound like my current job is a dream job? Well....all this is great except for one thing is missing - I don't have a passion for what I do. I really don't enjoy it to be honest. I'm good at what I do but if I don't somewhat enjoy it what's the purpose?
I don't know if I would even enjoy this new opportunity but isn't it worth giving it a try and feeling it out? I'd rather be happy than feel unfulfilled. That's the precisely the reason why I've worked my measly 10 hours a week at Starbucks all these years as well. It's a fun job and the benefits are great. Too bad the paycheck doens't match everything else.
So....I am confused about which direction to take. I'm processing as I type actually which is how I normally end up coming to a conclusion. I"m realizing though that it truly is ridiculous to stay at job simply out of fear of letting a boss down. I am too much of a people pleaser and need to get over my fears and check out other options. I'm sick of feeling miserable just because of a job. Life has so much more to offer than that and I know that feeling the way that I do is not God's best for me. He doesn't want me to be unhappy or unfulfilled - that's why me made the way I am afterall. Creative and such. Why did I ever think that I could be happy in a job that doesn't even jive with the personality that God created in me?
That's it for now. More to come later.
Labels: career
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