Nashville

Steve & I went to Nashville this weekend to celebrate our first anniversary and we had a blast! It was so nice to get away for a few days and rest. We didn't really do anything to exciting on our trip so I don't have many stories to tell ya'll. We mostly just walked around and checked out the local scene. We did to go to a really cool bar called the The Flying Saucer.This place has SO many different kinds of beers and is a really cool atmosphere.
At the reccomendation of some friends we went to another cool restaurant called Ted's Montana Grill. This place specializes in Bison - which is SO much better for you than beef. It was a pretty cool, but it didn't really remind me of Montana all that much.
We mostly just had fun hanging out and walking around though.
Here's some pics:
Just trying to look like Elvis!

Happy Anniversary!

This Sunday Steve and I will celebrate our first year anniversary. It has been a good year!
It seems like it was just yesterday that we said "I do," while at the same time it feels like we've been married forever. I could never imagine my life without Steve in it.
To celebrate we're leaving in the morning to go to Nashville for the weekend. It will be nice to get away for a few days.
Marriage has taught me so much about myself. I've learned that I'm sometimes too independant, most of the time selfish and still pretty much the worlds worst cook!
Steve & I have really used this time to establish ourself as a family and it's been good but often hard. I can be hard headed sometimes and I'm a real thinker. For every decision I like to analyze and come up with every possible outcome and scenario that could be affected by the choices we make,. Steve's not like that so it's kind of been a year of learning to chill out a little bit for me.
For him it's been a year of a good dose of reality. Steve wasn't a spoiled child by any means when it comes to material posessions, but he was spoiled in the sense that his mom took care of a lot things for him - stuff like balancing his check book, researching auto insurance rates and the rest of the basic "adult" stuff. I've always done all of that for myself so sometimes we butt heads and he doesn't understand why I take so much time in the evenings or on our day off to pay the bills, set up appointments and stuff like that. He's never had to do that stuff so sometimes I think he gets overwhelmed when I talk about simple things like the due date for our mortgage and stuff like that.

Those are really quite trivial matters and normal stuff that come along with the first year of marrige.
At first I was a little scared about our first year of marraige because I had been warned by so many different people that the first year of marriage was the hardest, but to be honest I think it's been pretty great - for me at least. :)

I love knowing that I'll always have someone to hang out with and be myself with. Steve truly is my very best friend and has brought so much joy to my life.
Sunday is not only the anniversary of our first year or marriage but it's also the second annivesary of us being together as a couple. Yep, it's been 2 years now since I've been single. I can't really say that I miss too much about the single life. Of course there's a few things but they are not great enough to make me desire that life again. Being with Steve has been wonderful. He has challenged me and made me a better person. So, as our first year of marriage comes to an end I look forward with anticipation for the many great years we still have before us.

That's all folks!

What I've Learned Through My 1st Year Of Marriage

What 1 year of marriage has taught me thus far:

- That I'm REALLY selfish
- That men really do change their clothes more often than women and I have the laundry to prove it!
- That It's true that you can fall more in love with someone every day
- That Men like to eat....a lot and if they don't get to eat a lot and often they become very cranky
- That all 3 Terminator movies are basically the same. I probably know the script for each of them by heart by now too.
- That silence is okay sometimes
- That subtitles are okay in movies - only if they're kung fu movies though
- That two really are better than one
- That sometimes a man just needs a hug and an "i love you" to change his whole disposition
- That men really aren't mind readers even though us women are
- That some men do really drive slower than my grandmother and my husband happens to be one of them
- That although women take forever to get ready it's usually the man that makes the family late thanks to his over sleeping
- That home really is where the heart is when you know somebody you love is waiting for you there at the end of the day
- That if your watching a movie with a battle scene in it you should never talk during the most intense battle of the movie
- That you really do need a different amp for every guitar that you own
- That having your best friend around to hang out with all the time is pretty much the coolest thing ever
- That Jet Lee is pretty much the master of martial arts - period.
- That it's okay to be a girl and act weird like we do sometimes - if he wanted a man he would be gay and he's not so it's ok.
- That I will never cook as good as him mom but that's okay too.
- That it's really nice to not have to make the minor decisions anymore that used to stress me out - you know decisions like if I want my coffee hot or iced today - instead of stressing I just have steve get me whatever he feels like so we can share, it not only saves on stress but saves money if we share to, then if I don't like it I have someone to blame too so it's good (for me at least) all around the board

These are just a few of the many things I've learned in my first short year of marriage.
It has been a good one. I wonder what kind of wisdom I'll have to share with ya'll next year.....I'm sure you're all eagerly waiting in anticipation.

Puggle Blessings....

This morning I took the dog for a walk in the park. I left the house a little frustrated cause I couldn't get my ipod to work. I like listening to music and don't really enjoy silence so much so I wasn't really looking forward to this walk.

While I was walking I was just thinking about praying about a few things. I kept asking God why He hadn't yet provided me another job. It seems logical that because I'm miserable at my current job, God would just give me something new the minute I asked him for it. He doesn't want me to be miserable right???

Anyway...I was musing as I walked and I'll admit I was a little frustrated with God. All of the sudden though Guinness jerked on his leash and it interrupted my thoughts. He had seen a bird up ahead and wanted to chase it. It was so cute how his little puggle face go all wrinkled in his excitment.

I was reminded of when we got Guinness last October. I had never had never had a dog before but Steve has grown up with them in his family. I really wanted to get Steve a dog but at the same time since I wasn't really a dog person I wanted to get something that I liked too. I had always loved pugs until I heard of puggles - a pug/beagle mix. They are very cute - so cute in fact that they are now called "designer dogs." Apparently it's THE new breed to get in hollywood. Because of this as you can imagine they are pricey. They start at at about $1,000.00.
I REALLY wanted a puggle but of course we weren't going to pay this for a dog. I searched high and low for a a puggle, both in state and in surrounding states and found out that they're not only pricey but it's imossible to find breeders.
Finally I brought up to Steve that I'd like to get a dog for him. He was really excited. After that I logged into our local pug rescue site expecting to see the same old dogs I had seen on there every other day I had looked. They don't get too many new dogs and when they do they're normally pugs that are at deaths door from recently being rescued from a puppy mill. I had never seen puggles on there so I figured we probably would have to settle for a pug instead.
To my suprise though a puggle had just been added to the list of available dogs. I was so excited and it seemed too good to be true.
I called to get some more info and set up an appointment to come meet this dog. I was shocked to find out that this dog was only 2 years old and didn't have ANYTHING wrong with him. Most of the dogs from the rescue sites are pretty old and require lots of attention because of abuse they have suffered. This dog was dropped off by a lady that was moving and wasn't able to take her puppy with her.
We set up an appointment to meet this puppy and we fell in love! Guinness (he was named "rocko" at the time) was only in the rescue shelter for 2 days before we came along. He was completely house trained (something I was very afraid of and not looking forward to with a puppy) fixed, and up to date on all his shots.

That was last October and now this puppy is a part of our family and we love him to pieces!

So...as I was walking I was reminded of all this and about how God had provided excactly what we wanted in a dog. It really was such a blessing. It brought to my mind ALL of the times that God has provided for me - He really has blessed and given me the desires of my heart.
It was then that I got what God was trying to speak to me by reminding me of the story of our dog. If He was faithful enough to provide for me the exact dog I wanted why should I doubt that He's not in the process of finding me a job that I'll enjoy?
God has proven to me over and over again that He not only loves to bless me but loves to bless me through the little details that may seem insignifant to others. God not only gives me what I want but he always goes above and beyond what I could imagine.
So...yes, I am miserable at my job but I'm realizing that I need to trust more in God and His process. I need to be patient and learn the lessons He's trying to teach me through this season of misery. I know that it won't be like this forever and that there has got to be a reason why God still has me in the career that I'm in and I'm trying to embrace that and every lesson He has for me through this season.

Somtimes I just need to be reminded that God is more concerned about the process then He is the end result and it's the charater He's building (and revealing) in me at this time that really is the most important.

Fun Times Were Had By All...

Yesterday day was GORGEOUS! More we were just excited to have some sunshine - I think the rest of St. Louis shared our joy as well.
We went over to some friends house for a BBQ for lunch - stayed there for a few hours and then went a few blocks away to our other friends house for yet another BBQ for dinner.
It was a nice day - to nice to stay inside working on our house projects like we planned.
We got a ilttle crazy and I'm not sure where the panythose came from but somehow they ended up on all our heads - well everyones except for my dear husbands whose head was to big to fit the panty hose on them! :) hehe

Sin and Leaving God Out of the Picture.

Steve and I are leading this group at church called H20.
This group is really cool actually it's for anyone that isn't quite sure about what they think about Jesus and Christianity. It's very non-threatening and really the group is just intended to be thought provoking. We watch a 30 minute video about different aspects of Jesus every week and then have a little discussion time.
Although these are geared for those that don't really know if they believe in Jesus I have taken away something every week that really challenges me.

Last night's episode was about how we were born into a sinful world.
There was a lot of good points but the very last sentence on the video was what got me thinking. They said " Jesus is so in love with you that He would rather die than have to live forever without you." That's something we've all heard before - of course scripture in the Bible basically says the same thing but for some reason it got to my heart last night and made me feel so grateful for that love that Jesus has for me.
I think of my husband. We have only been married just 1 short year. In that time though my heart has become so connected to his. I literally could not imagine my future without Steve in it. I think it's safe to say that I would rather die than have to live without him. No, I'm not getting suicidal or anything like that, but for some reason the heart of Jesus has seemed a lot more real to me since I've become married. It's the being in love aspect of Jesus that I'm feeling more of.
I couldn't imagine feeling the way I do about Steve if that love was not reciprocated. What if I loved him like I do from afar but didn't really have a relationship with him? Besides the fact that in human standards I would pretty much be creepy and stalkerish I coudln't imagine the pain that it would bring to my heart to love him as much as I do and not have a relationship with him. It's because of the close relationship that I have with my husband that I love him so much anyway.
Thinking of that gives me a glimpse into the heart of Jesus. I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must be for him when I leave him out. I can't imagine how great His love for me must be that He would die for me even when we had absolutely NO relationship at all. In fact He was willing to die for me in just the simple hopes that we could have a relationship in the future.
I have a realtionship with Jesus, but I can't say that I'm always focused on and in tune with him. Just like I would be devastated if my husband were to ignore me or leave me out I can't imagine how Jesus feels every time I do that to him. And it happens - a lot.
I know I'm human and therefore not (nor will I ever be) perfect, but when I think about Jesus in this aspect the word "sin" all the sudden doesn't seem gruesome enough to describe what I do to the heart of God.
Really it all boils down to leaving God out - whether it be a decision we make to "sin", or good intentions we have that we never even thought to ask God's opinion on. "Sinning" really is just leaving God out of the picture.
I would hate it if Steve came home with a brand new car and $25,000.00 worth of debt because of it - why? Because of the money we now would owe of course but more because he left me out of a major decision. More than making me mad it would make me feel worthless and hurt. I think that's how Jesus must feel every time we leave him out and decide to go our own way. Anger lasts for just a moment, but when you're hurt by someone you are desperately in love with it's pain that doesn't seem to go away all that easily.
Anyway....those are just my thoughts for the day. I love how God is always so faithful to give me revelations of his Heart. Most of the time I have the same revelation over and over again because it never quite really seems to sink in the first time, but I guess that's all part of learning.

My Husband the Super Hero!

Can I just say that I am VERY proud of my husband! He's not to mechanically inclined and growing up didn't have his dad around much to show him most of the "guy stuff" but he is impressing me with his mad skills.
We're replacing the floors in our dining room and kitchen and he is doing such a great job! We replaced our bathroom floors a few months ago and one of the guys from church came over and helped with that but so far this time he's been going at putting these floors in all by himself and he's dong a great job and I'm so proud of him!
I'll post some pics of the before and after once we get everything done!

Deliriou5?

Last night Steve & I went to a Delirious concert. Delirious was one of my favorite bands when I was in high school and to this day I really still like them. I"m not quite as into them as I was in my teen years but nonetheless it was great.

I've seen this band live many, many times but last night was different for me. Maybe because it's been a few years and so much has changed in my life since the last time I saw them live but for some reason I was overcome with emotion when I saw them last night. Music affects me in such a deep place of my heart. It always has and still to this day does.
Music is the one thing (besides my husband) that can instantly change my mood or bring tears to my eyes. It just touches me like that. I love music. So much in fact that it's constantly playing in my house, car, cubicle at work or pretty much wherever I am - the music always just seem to go with me.

But back to my emotional evening.....it brought some memories for me to be at this concert. Delirious has written some amazing worship songs. Early on in my teen years God began to put a passion in me for worship and this band was a band that really helped fuel that. Fast foward to the present - a good 12 or so years later. I traveled the world for a few years playing music and now have settled down here in St. Louis and Steve & I are now the worship leaders at our church.

Unfortunately though I just don't feel as passionate about what we're doing now as I have in the past and that saddens me. For awhile I've brushed away the reason for feeling this way as simply becuase I'm older and more mature now. I have more knowledge to go alongside with my passion, but still something feels wrong.
At this concert last night I was just reminded of the time in my life as a teen when the music of this band spoke volumes to my heart and in response I felt closer to the heart of God. I miss the way that music used to touch me back in those days. I still touches me now, just in a different way.

Being at this concert brought me back to a place with God though that I've been missing for awhile......it's a place called simplicity. Life is crazy, as I get older it just gets crazier. Responsibility is constantly calling my name. I'm no longer a teenager in the care of someone else but now I'm an adult expected to care for those someones. What a huge responsibility - not only to others but to God as well.
Last night though it felt good to feel simplicity. It was great to listen to good music and sit and ponder about God and not have to worry about anyone else. I honestly can't remember the last time I was in a worship service ANYWHERE that Steve & I weren't leading and it was like a breath of fresh air. I felt God taking me back to that place of simplicity with him and I was overcome with emotion. The God that felt so near as I listened to the sounds of those amazing musicians back when I was 16 is the same God that touches my heart and brings me new life every day.

I felt God calling me back to the basics and out of the complex last night and it just felt like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. It was very refreshing and just what I needed and I'm grateful for that.