Tuesday, December 30, 2008
My grandmother died on Sunday. It was good for her to go as she'd been living in a nursing home and was mentally out of it for years. I haven't had much contact with her throughout the last 10 years as every time I went home my dad and stepmom thought it would be best for me to not visit her so that I could remember her how she used to be.
I've been thinking about her a lot this past week though - even before she passed away and am so thankful for the impact that she'd had on my life.
When my dad left my mom my grandparents did something that forever changed our lives. At the time my mother was a stay at home that had dropped out of college to marry my dad. She hadn't worked in 6 years and had spent all of her time investing in us kids (my brother was 5 at the time and I was 3), so naturally when my dad came home drunk and said he found someone else (who is now my wonderful stepmom) and wanted a divorce, my mother was at a loss as to what to do. I couldn't imagine how she must have felt with no job, no home, two kids to take care of and all the emotional baggage of a marriage that was ending.
It was then that my grandparents stepped in - keep in mind that these were my Dad's folks. They were so horrified by the choices that my father had made that they gave my mom what would have been his inheritance. They had a home on a nice piece of property that they had been renting out and signed over all of it to my mother and us kids - free of charge. That's the house I grew up in and to this day my mother still lives in. It wasn't long after that when my mom got a job working a secretary for the county water district and had a wonderful boss that saw she was in a hard place and helped her out with childcare for us kids and made sure that she could always leave work to go to every one of our basketball games or school events as we grew up. Now, my mother is the manager of that same water district and treats her employees (and their families) with the same love and respect.
When I look back on that time of our lives I am so grateful for the wonderful people that God provided us with. I could make a list of hundreds of little miracles that at my young age can recall, and can't even imagine the hundreds more that must have happened that I was oblivious to. It used to be that I could only remember the bad things that happend during that time, but in the recent years God has been bringing to my memory all of the way that His hand was on our lives protecting us through all of it.
I am so grateful for my Dad's folks that took care of us, a wonderful work environment for my mom who had to put her kids in daycare and work hard to provide for us all on her own and with no child support, and of course my mom's wonderful parents who completely remodeled the house we were given free of charge so that we could start fresh.
God has blessed me with the most wonderful grandparents ever and all of them have impacted my life in a special way. I don't remember much about my Grandmother Struck throughout my teen years, but I will never forget what she did for us through the most difficult time of our life.
Through a series of bad circumstances God has brought about so much good into my life, most of it has been good that I haven't even been able to comprehend until my adult years. Not only did God bless me with a wonderful set of grandparents on my Dad & Mom's side, but I have also been blessed to have grown up with wonderful grandparents on my stepmom's side that have taken us kids in as their own flesh and blood from day one. They are both still living, along with my mom's mom, and I want to cherish every moment that I have left with them.
Although my grandmother is gone she will never be forgotten for the way that she forever she changed my life.
Labels: family
Friday, December 26, 2008
It was kind of weird for Steve & I to spend Christmas alone this year. We tried to make the best out of it though.
We went out to dinner to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse on Christmas Eve (thanks Andy & Mandie for the great gift card) and had a really nice time. I'm not sure that we've ever really got dressed up and went out to a nice restaurant so it was a very enjoyable way to spend Christmas eve. They had a wonderful piano player and it was so relaxing for me to just enjoy some quality time with Steve.
Christmas day was pretty much boring though. We slept in and I made some homemade blueberry muffins and then proceeded to make the Christmas day calls to family and friends. I was a little bummed, but the highlight of my day was being able to skype Dale & Missy and see the girls. Hannah & Ava gave me kisses via the computer screen and it was really cute and did my heart good.
The rest of our day consisted of re-organizing the cupboards in the kitchen, playing xbox and laughing at our neighbors who we could hear singing Karaoke next door.
Not very exciting, but then again I guess we're just not exciting people. I was just happy to spend time with my husband and reflect on all the good things that God has done for us this year. It's been a hard year, but a good year that we'll never forget too. That being said I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store for us.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I can't believe that Christmas is just 2 days away. It seems like it was just a few weeks ago that I was sipping on a margarita over at Steve's parents house while we celebrated Christmas last year. Time flies and I would have never guessed last Christmas that our life would be so different this year.
I'm surviving here in Madison. We've already broken last years amount of snowfall for the month of December and last year was a record breaker! Steve is definately getting lots of practice with driving on icy roads and shoveling the sidewalks. Needless to say we're definitley going to have a white Christmas this year.
I've found that as I progress in age I've gotten into the holidays more. I get really excited about driving around and looking at lights and enjoy making our house feel festive. This year things will be different since we'll be all alone at Christmas, but I think it will be fun nonetheless.
Steve's been reading up on making Chicago style deep dish pizza and is wanting to make that for our Christmas meal. He's going to make the dough today and has to let it sit for at least 24 hours. We'll see how it all turns out. It may not be a traditional Christmas meal, but we're just not traditional type of people, so I guess it's not that out of the ordinary for us. I'm so glad that I have a husband who's a lot more skilled in the kitchen than I am.
Before we know it 2009 will be here. I'm still getting used to writing "2008" when I date all my checks, so I'm sure I'll be confused for the next 11 1/2 months again before the big "10" hits us.
Hope ya'll have a happy and safe Christmas.
Friday, December 19, 2008
It seems like this has been the longest week EVER! I finally made it into my office this morning after getting stuck in our parking lot for 20 minutes. We got about a foot of snow last night and are expecting even more over the next few days.
Welcome to Wisconsin!
Surprisingly it hasn't been that hard for me to get used to living like this again after being away from Montana for 10 years. My husband on the other hand is hating it! It doesn't help that by law here you have to have your sidewalks shoveled within a certain time frame after it snows or else you'll get a ticket. The other morning I woke up at 6:00 and our nice neighboors next door had already shoveled in front of our house and behind our house to the garage for us. Steve is thrilled that we only have to last this winter and we'll have a snowblower for next year. Bonnie offered to bring us their snowblower when they come for a visit this summer since they have a BobCat which kind of takes away a need for the snowblower they have sitting in the shop.
I'm looking forward to what will hopefully be a quiet weekend. I've decided that all I want for Christmas is to have our bedroom and bathroom painted so we're going to go pick out paint colors this weekend and will probably spend our Christmas painting. Yes, we are pretty much the most boring couple ever! I absolutely HATE painting and I'm horrible at it too, but I figured it has to get done some time so it might as well be when I have two days off from work.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Christmas feels so different this year. Mostly I think it's because we're so used to spending time with family and friends and this year we'll be all on our own. That makes me a little sad, but at the same time because of how crazy life has been in this past year a small part of me is relieved as well.
I guess it also feels different because we're living in a new place and our life is so different than what we could have ever imagined a year ago. Although I'm starting to feel a little more settled here it still doesn't quite feel like home, namely because of the above missing elements in our lives. I'm so grateful for the handful of friends that we have made here that have made the transition so much easier though.
I feel like this past month has been such a sweet time to thank God for all the many blessings He's given us. Despite the fact that we're "poorer" by earthly standards than we've ever been, I can't help but feel so rich. These past few months have been really rough, but God's grace and goodness to us has been so evident and I can't help but feel grateful. Even though Steve has been here for almost a month now I still can't help but smile every morning when I wake up and see him laying there next to me. I am so thankful to God that He worked out all the necessary details so that Steve could move up here just as I was getting to the point where I didn't think I could take it anymore. It's proof that God's timing really is perfect!
I'm so thankful for all the experiences that we've had in these past few months, it has forced to be even more dependent on God and allowed us to experience His faithfullness to us time and time again. It has truly enriched my faith and given me so much perspective. It has also allowed me to be more outward focused rather than sit around and just think about me.
We truly are blessed and I don't take any of the great gifts that God has given us through this season for granted. Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 12, 2008
I feel like I've really been challenged in the recent weeks and months in the area of faith. Not so much that I don't have faith, but more that so often I don't have enough faith.
I tend to underestimate God and not believe Him for good things when really He is wanting to give me the best. If you've talked to me lately it's not really much of a secret that I have the baby bug. I finally feel like I'm getting to the point where I'm ready to start a family (it doesn't help that Jacqueline reminds me almost daily that my clock is ticking and we need to have kids before it's to late) and surprisingly Steve is as well. Realistically it is probably the WORST timing ever for us to even think about kids, beings that we have no health insurance and Steve doesn't have a job right now. So, obviously although it's a desire of ours, its not even something we're wanting to pursue right now as we both know it would be selfishness on our parts to bring a child into the world that we can't even care for. But, I do feel that God has been challenging me to believe Him for bigger things.
All that being said, I'm reminded that we serve a good God who knows the desires of our hearts and wants to bring us good gifts. I've found that so many times I don't have a problem with asking God for little things, but I kind of refrain from asking him for big things because I don't want to seem selfish. He's been reminding me though that I can believe him for big things because He really does want to blow us away with His blessings if we'd just ask Him to.
So many times I let the reality of life cloud my vision of how big God really is and it causes me to believe Him for less. Really though true reality is that "I have not because I ask not."
I do want to choose to believe God for a great job for Steve even though our economy is rough. I know that my God is not a God that sits up in heaven and watches His children be dissapointed because they have dreams and desires that they believe will never be fulfilled. I know that the dreams and desires that I have come from God, so why would I choose to not believe that He can fulfill them? I feel ashamed that so many times I choose to believe him for small things when He really wants to give me GREAT things.
It's time I start believing God for more and I'm excited to see how proves His faithfulness to us again and again in the midst of what the rest of that world would call a hopeless situation.
Labels: life, pog
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
We finally got our tree up! I've been looking forward to getting the house festive all week, so I couldn't really say no to my husband when he decided to pull out some "props" for our decorating extravaganza. We looked like dorks, but we had a good time!
It's been a busy week with lots of people coming through, so I was really looking forward to some fun. Nate came in to visit Friday night, a team of 10 folks from our church back in St. Louis came in on Saturday afternoon, and then Chris & Tina came in on Saturday night and stayed till Sunday. It was so fun having lots of familiar faces around for a few days, but I was worn out once Sunday evening rolled around and just needed some fun, so I figured getting in the Christmas spirit was just the thing.
Dale & Jacq even got in on the action!
Every year we have our own little tradition of getting a special ornament from Starbucks and our tree always has a Starbucks theme (for me) and little drummer boy theme (for Steve). I liked this years Starbucks ornament.
I'll admit , as much as I've been in the Christmas spirit I really feel like the Holiday's have completely snuck up on me this year. I am totally unprepared and have been working on getting Christmas cards done and all that, but at this point I'd be surprised if I ever got them out. I haven't even begun to do any Christmas shopping either and normally I'm done by this point, so I've been feeling a bit of stress. I know that Christmas isn't about getting cards out and buying presents, but I still like to try and use this time of your to check and keep in touch with people. I have really been lacking in the communication area lately. I just haven't had much time or motivation for a whole lot these last 2 weeks. I keep hoping I'll find some time to catch up, but it seems like my "to do" list keeps on getting longer and I'm not seeing much of a light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's all about prioritizing and taking down time to get refreshed and I guess that's something I need to work a little harder at. It's usually a downhill battle once I start to get overwhelmed because I kind of feel like I'll never get control over all the things that need to get done. I know I'll never have it all together, but I'd like to at least hope that someday I would feel like I'm making progress.
For now though I think I'll go get some sleep....
Friday, December 05, 2008
Another week has come and gone. It's crazy how the weeks kind of just run away from you when you get stuck in the M-F, 9-5 rut. Needless to say I'm very grateful for that rut now after being out of it for so long.
Nate's here visiting until tomorrow night and it's nice to have someone new to pick on. Dale was getting kind of boring. It's been so great to be here and be able to consistently see friends. It's been literally about every other weekend (and sometimes even every weekend) that someone's been up here visiting and I've only been back to St. Louis once in the past 3 months.
Missing friends is by far the hardest factor of moving for me. Everything else is stressful but there's just something about those familiar faces. I was talking on the phone with Missy tonight and just hearing her voice and the girls screaming in the background was somehow so soothing and comforting to me.
It's crazy to me that I've been here 3 months now. We've been in our new house for about 5 weeks and it's just now that we're starting to feel like things have a place. We still have a ton more of boxes to unpack though.
We plan on putting the tree up on Sunday and I'm so excited! Christmas has come so quick this year and I feel totally unprepared. I had really hoped we'd be able to come home for Christmas but it looks like we'll have to stay here with the way my schedule at work is. I did score 4 good tickets to the Milwaukee Bucks game 2 days after Christmas though, so I'm looking forward to going to that and checking out Milwaukee a bit as I've never been there.
Anyway....that's the very boring update of life lately. More to come some other day - hopefully a more exciting day at that.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
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