Here comes the change.....

I've been kind of sensing that change would be coming for awhile now but I haven't really known what that meant....until this week. I think it would be sufficient to say that emotionally it's been a very rough week for Steve and I. We've been presented with some really overwhelming news and now we have just a few weeks to sort through our emotions and make some decisions.
I hate times like this. I guess change is what I wanted.....it just never seems to come in a way I feel that I can embrace.

I'm really trying to hear God's heart and know the direction that he's wanting us to walk in, but honestly this point I'm just overwhelmed about what our life will look like regardless of the decision we make and it can be summed up in just one word...Lonely.

We are headed into a season of loneliness and for me that sucks. Relationships have always been so important to me and there's been a few people in my life that have been my constant over the last 10 years and to know that not only will I suddenly be losing them but also that I have to make a decision about some commitments that will bring a lot of stress into my life and make that loss seem even worse is so overwhelming for me.

I've had a few days to process some of the choices that have been presented to us and right now I don't even feel like I'm at a place to even begin making decisions because I just feel so overwhelmed with the loss we're about to experience.

It's really ironic how things have worked out and it's just a reminder to me that trusting in God and giving your life and your future to Jesus is really giving up control of everything. I know that God is faithful and I trust that He truly does know what's best for me. What is so scary though is that the best road isn't always the easy road. I feel like I'm gearing for quite the ride on whatever road it is that God has set before us right now.

Marriage and Green Tea....

I haven’t blogged in awhile….I don’t know if my excuse is more that I’ve just been too busy or just because I haven’t felt like it.

Last week I got my butt kicked by that nasty flu. The last time I can remember being that sick was when I was a kid. It was SO miserable. Luckily for me I have the nicest husband in the world that pretty much waited on me hand and foot the entire time I was sick. He is so nice and I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man.

Speaking of husbands and marriage, I’ve been thinking lately just about how blessed I am. I have a few close friends that are going through divorces right now and I just couldn’t imagine how horrible that must feel…..more than that even just realizing that the person that has vowed to love you an be faithful you for the rest of your lives has broken those vows.
I would consider Steve & I to have a very healthy marriage. We disagree once in awhile like every married couple, but we are both committed to loving and respecting each other and we have learned the importance of communication and honesty. I really couldn’t imagine losing the love of my life. Steve is truly my best friend in the entire world and it when I look back on my life before Steve I’m not really sure how I functioned. He truly is my better half.

On to other topics…..coffee (yum!). Although I’m not catholic for the last few years our church has taken 40 day during lent to kind of refocus – both for vision for our church and for personal vision for those that go to the church. Usually everyone who wants to participate will fast something (media, food, TV, sugar, internet) and this year I felt like I was supposed to give up coffee. I really don’t think I’ve ever given up coffee for any purpose or even for more than 24 hours before (at least in the last 12 years) so this is a real stretch for me. It’s been a week or so now, but I’m learning the I really love tea!
Of course I miss my coffee, but I’ve actually been feeling better since I’ve been drinking green tea. I never realized how good green tea was for you! Besides being loaded with antioxidants (click here for info on what antioxidants are) it’s good for your complexion, heart, lower cholesterol and even helps prevent cancer! As much as I miss my morning coffee I’ve really been enjoying my green tea. The stuff I’ve been drinking has about half the amount of caffeine that a cup of coffee does so it’s nice to still have a little bit of help in the morning too. So....here's to tea!