...........
I've been kind of sensing that change would be coming for awhile now but I haven't really known what that meant....until this week. I think it would be sufficient to say that emotionally it's been a very rough week for Steve and I. We've been presented with some really overwhelming news and now we have just a few weeks to sort through our emotions and make some decisions.
I hate times like this. I guess change is what I wanted.....it just never seems to come in a way I feel that I can embrace.
I'm really trying to hear God's heart and know the direction that he's wanting us to walk in, but honestly this point I'm just overwhelmed about what our life will look like regardless of the decision we make and it can be summed up in just one word...Lonely.
We are headed into a season of loneliness and for me that sucks. Relationships have always been so important to me and there's been a few people in my life that have been my constant over the last 10 years and to know that not only will I suddenly be losing them but also that I have to make a decision about some commitments that will bring a lot of stress into my life and make that loss seem even worse is so overwhelming for me.
I've had a few days to process some of the choices that have been presented to us and right now I don't even feel like I'm at a place to even begin making decisions because I just feel so overwhelmed with the loss we're about to experience.
It's really ironic how things have worked out and it's just a reminder to me that trusting in God and giving your life and your future to Jesus is really giving up control of everything. I know that God is faithful and I trust that He truly does know what's best for me. What is so scary though is that the best road isn't always the easy road. I feel like I'm gearing for quite the ride on whatever road it is that God has set before us right now.
I hate times like this. I guess change is what I wanted.....it just never seems to come in a way I feel that I can embrace.
I'm really trying to hear God's heart and know the direction that he's wanting us to walk in, but honestly this point I'm just overwhelmed about what our life will look like regardless of the decision we make and it can be summed up in just one word...Lonely.
We are headed into a season of loneliness and for me that sucks. Relationships have always been so important to me and there's been a few people in my life that have been my constant over the last 10 years and to know that not only will I suddenly be losing them but also that I have to make a decision about some commitments that will bring a lot of stress into my life and make that loss seem even worse is so overwhelming for me.
I've had a few days to process some of the choices that have been presented to us and right now I don't even feel like I'm at a place to even begin making decisions because I just feel so overwhelmed with the loss we're about to experience.
It's really ironic how things have worked out and it's just a reminder to me that trusting in God and giving your life and your future to Jesus is really giving up control of everything. I know that God is faithful and I trust that He truly does know what's best for me. What is so scary though is that the best road isn't always the easy road. I feel like I'm gearing for quite the ride on whatever road it is that God has set before us right now.
2 Comments:
Here's the passage that works for me:
"Be still, and know that I am God" - Psalm 46:10.
We will pray for you.
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