living or surviving?

I don't know why but for some reason today I've been thinking a lot about getting back to my roots....you know, back to the good ol' days and the good ol' ways.
I'm a Montana girl at heart and I always will be. One thing I love about people from Montana is that they're just so laid back. For some odd reason I appreciate that, which I find odd beings that I'm a very scheduled and detailed person. I think I just like the idea of living by the seat of my pants....more I should say I like thinking about it, actually living that way kind of stresses me out. Maybe that's not such a good thing though and I just need to learn to relax a little more.

Anyway...I'm kind of starting to realize that life doesn't always have to be quite as complex as I try to make it. Maybe I should just start living a little bit an allow myself to sit back, drink a cup of tea and listen to my favorite Waterdeep album without thinking about the 10,000 other things I should be doing.
I sometimes feel like I spend more time THINKING about life then I do actually LIVING it.

I've had a rough day....one of those days where I just want to come home and relax, but the really sad part is that I feel ackward when I think about relaxing anymore because I'm realizing that don't really know how to do that. Sad huh? My life really isn't all that crazy and complex as you would think, I think I just make it that way because that's the best way I know how to survive, and I'm realizing that that's not really living at all. In fact....it kind of sucks. Anyway...that's just some stuff that's on my mind today, that and the fact that I'm really excited that tomorrow's Friday.........finally.