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You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable!
Psalm 139 13-17
I have probably read this verse from Psalms hundreds of times, but yesterday when we talked about it in church in took on a whole new meaning for me. I've been struggling with all the unknowns and potential "problems" that could be going on with the development of this precious baby in my belly, and in the midst of that I have so easily forgotten these words from God. HE has formed every part of this baby and knows exactly what He's doing!
I know the concept shouldn't be difficult to grasp, but in the midst of my fear it has been so easily forgotten. I am so thankful for everything that God is doing as He forms this baby in the way that He see's fit. I know there are no accidents, and because of that I choose to trust God with our future and the future of this precious little boy. I feel like I'm finally starting to get to a point where instead of feeling overwhelmed with the possibilities I feel joy in whatever the outcome. That is a huge step for me. Of course all along we have said that we will love this baby no matter what the outcome, but even in spite of that I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with how unfit I feel to be a mother at all, let alone to the possibility of a special needs child. Now, although I still feel unfit, I'm ready to receive the grace that God has for me no matter what the outcome.
I am overjoyed with this little miracle that is being formed in my belly and am ready to stop worrying about all of the "what if's" and instead focus on the fact that the perfect hand of God working to form this child in His perfect way, and because of that I will find joy.
Psalm 139 13-17
I have probably read this verse from Psalms hundreds of times, but yesterday when we talked about it in church in took on a whole new meaning for me. I've been struggling with all the unknowns and potential "problems" that could be going on with the development of this precious baby in my belly, and in the midst of that I have so easily forgotten these words from God. HE has formed every part of this baby and knows exactly what He's doing!
I know the concept shouldn't be difficult to grasp, but in the midst of my fear it has been so easily forgotten. I am so thankful for everything that God is doing as He forms this baby in the way that He see's fit. I know there are no accidents, and because of that I choose to trust God with our future and the future of this precious little boy. I feel like I'm finally starting to get to a point where instead of feeling overwhelmed with the possibilities I feel joy in whatever the outcome. That is a huge step for me. Of course all along we have said that we will love this baby no matter what the outcome, but even in spite of that I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with how unfit I feel to be a mother at all, let alone to the possibility of a special needs child. Now, although I still feel unfit, I'm ready to receive the grace that God has for me no matter what the outcome.
I am overjoyed with this little miracle that is being formed in my belly and am ready to stop worrying about all of the "what if's" and instead focus on the fact that the perfect hand of God working to form this child in His perfect way, and because of that I will find joy.
1 Comments:
Beautifully put, thank you for sharing. I know that pregnancy is one of the hardest times for me because I feel so out of control. But it always forces me to remember that ultimately, God is in control and only when I willingly allow Him that do things fall into place as they should. I will be praying that God continues to give you peace during your pregnancy and that you can see Him in all of it.
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