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The holidays have been different for us this year. We've been trying to enjoy our time together knowing that it's the last year that it will be just the two us, but at the same time we're so excited that we'll have a little one to celebrate Christmas with next year. Christmas is so much more exciting when you celebrate it with children.
Unfortunately this year we got a little bit of bad news to dampen our spirits. I got the call on the Christmas Eve morning. Last week we had gone to the hospital for some routine testing and our lab results we're in. Unfortunately, it looks like there's a chance that our baby might have Downs Syndrome. The chance is not great, but to put things into perspective - only 2% of the pregnant women that get this testing done actually have the test come back showing that their baby might have Downs Syndrome. So, although the chance isn't great that the baby actually DOES have Down Syndrome, the chances we're so low in the first place that it was even a remote possibility, and we "beat" those odds, so we can't help but be worried.
The specialist that called me gave us a few options for testing : A CVS test (which would have to be next week), an Amniocentesis in another 3 weeks, or a Target Ultrasound at 20 weeks. The CVS and Amnio are said to be 100% accurate, so would tell us if the baby does in fact have Downs Syndrome, but because they are both invasive, they come with a small risk of miscarriage. The Targeted Ultrasound could give us a pretty good idea, but is not 100% accurate.
Obviously we are devastated, but because no matter what we will love this baby, we have decided to just wait another 6 weeks and get the Targeted Ultrasound so as to not put the baby in any danger. We figured it would be kind of selfish of us to even risk putting our baby in danger just so that we could have a more precise answer a few weeks earlier.
All of this comes down to genetics, which is so odd because neither Steve nor I have any history of Downs Syndrome on either sides of our family. The specialist said that it's mostly due to my genes - although I'm only 30, genetically my maternal age is that of a 35 year old woman. Because this is all genetic, the risk of Downs Syndrome will increase with each of our subsequent children, so the longer that we wait to have more children, the greater the chances that it will be a special needs child. Because of this, I can't hep but feel a little fear for our future children and know that every pregnancy will come with a greater set of worries. The specialist advised that if we wanted more children after this one that we should do it quickly and be finished with having kids within the next 4 years in order to avoid the risk of more serious complications. All this time I've been joking about how my biological clock has been ticking, but I never really realized just how true my words would become.
All of this is a lot to digest right now. I don't feel fit to be a mother at all, let alone to a child that has special needs. I do know though, that God has put this baby that we wanted to badly inside of me and no matter happens we will love it. I also know from experience that God will never give us more than what we can handle and if it turns out that the baby does have Downs Syndrome, then He will give us the grace to deal with it.
With all of my heart I pray that everything is okay, but I can't help but worry. No matter what, I know that God is faithful and good and He will be with us regardless of the outcome. In the meantime though, prayers are appreciated!
Unfortunately this year we got a little bit of bad news to dampen our spirits. I got the call on the Christmas Eve morning. Last week we had gone to the hospital for some routine testing and our lab results we're in. Unfortunately, it looks like there's a chance that our baby might have Downs Syndrome. The chance is not great, but to put things into perspective - only 2% of the pregnant women that get this testing done actually have the test come back showing that their baby might have Downs Syndrome. So, although the chance isn't great that the baby actually DOES have Down Syndrome, the chances we're so low in the first place that it was even a remote possibility, and we "beat" those odds, so we can't help but be worried.
The specialist that called me gave us a few options for testing : A CVS test (which would have to be next week), an Amniocentesis in another 3 weeks, or a Target Ultrasound at 20 weeks. The CVS and Amnio are said to be 100% accurate, so would tell us if the baby does in fact have Downs Syndrome, but because they are both invasive, they come with a small risk of miscarriage. The Targeted Ultrasound could give us a pretty good idea, but is not 100% accurate.
Obviously we are devastated, but because no matter what we will love this baby, we have decided to just wait another 6 weeks and get the Targeted Ultrasound so as to not put the baby in any danger. We figured it would be kind of selfish of us to even risk putting our baby in danger just so that we could have a more precise answer a few weeks earlier.
All of this comes down to genetics, which is so odd because neither Steve nor I have any history of Downs Syndrome on either sides of our family. The specialist said that it's mostly due to my genes - although I'm only 30, genetically my maternal age is that of a 35 year old woman. Because this is all genetic, the risk of Downs Syndrome will increase with each of our subsequent children, so the longer that we wait to have more children, the greater the chances that it will be a special needs child. Because of this, I can't hep but feel a little fear for our future children and know that every pregnancy will come with a greater set of worries. The specialist advised that if we wanted more children after this one that we should do it quickly and be finished with having kids within the next 4 years in order to avoid the risk of more serious complications. All this time I've been joking about how my biological clock has been ticking, but I never really realized just how true my words would become.
All of this is a lot to digest right now. I don't feel fit to be a mother at all, let alone to a child that has special needs. I do know though, that God has put this baby that we wanted to badly inside of me and no matter happens we will love it. I also know from experience that God will never give us more than what we can handle and if it turns out that the baby does have Downs Syndrome, then He will give us the grace to deal with it.
With all of my heart I pray that everything is okay, but I can't help but worry. No matter what, I know that God is faithful and good and He will be with us regardless of the outcome. In the meantime though, prayers are appreciated!
2 Comments:
So sorry to hear that. Stay positive, so many times those tests are not accurate. No matter what though, you will be a wonderful mother! We will be praying!
Keep your chin up and update us as you know more. You're in our thoughts!
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