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I believe our lives are like a big story with many different chapters. Sometimes I find myself thinking back on the different chapters of my life and it's funny how with just a few words I could easily give each season a chapter title.
I remember when I was 19 and first moved to Texas, that chapter would have been "Naive & Ready To Take On The World", then just a few years later when I was 23 and first moved to St. Louis my chapter could be titled "Totally Depressed & Think I Made The Biggest Mistake Of My Life." A few years after that when I was 26 I had the "Aha, Now I See The Bigger Picture & Realize That Everything Happens For A Reason" chapter followed by the "I Can't Believe That Through All Of This God Was Preparing Me To Be A Wife To Steve." chapter.
Those are just a few chapter titles of the last decade of my life, but all of that leads me to this year. This past year has had a few chapters - some have been short and to the point and others more intriguing. Without a doubt though the last 5 months could be summed up in just a few words and would be entitled the "God, What Are You Doing?" chapter. Without a doubt that is the most asked question from my heart to Gods these past few months. Some of the answers I've received and many I'm still waiting for.
When I first came to Madison in September I thought it would be a matter of a few days or maybe at the at the most a few weeks that I've be living here on my own while I looked for a job. Weeks turned into months - 2 1/2 months to exact until I finally found a job and Steve was actually able to come up here and move into the house we had purchased. It was 3 months and 12 days ago that Steve was finally able to join me here and although I'm grateful that everything turned out beautifully for me to have a job that I enjoy, I feel like I'm still asking God the big "what are you doing" question while Steve struggles to find a job.
Although this chapter has been a total of just 5 short months, I feel like it's not only the never ending chapter, but in my heart I know it's the chapter that I'll also never forget. This has been a chapter that's been jam packed with character building experiences and lots of life's little lessons. It also has been a chapter that I'm hoping will finally end soon. I'm grateful for all that we've learned and how we've grown, but I am so ready for the "Now I See That It All Turned Out Beautifully" chapter to begin. I know eventually we'll get there, because God is predictable (aka faithful) like that, but some days I just can't help but wish that I could skip a few pages and see how beautifully it truly does all turn out just so that I could feel a little bit more hope while I continue to navigate through this current chapter that seems to be filled with lots of uncertainties.
Until then though, I guess all I can keep on doing is try to enjoy the ride as much as possible...
I remember when I was 19 and first moved to Texas, that chapter would have been "Naive & Ready To Take On The World", then just a few years later when I was 23 and first moved to St. Louis my chapter could be titled "Totally Depressed & Think I Made The Biggest Mistake Of My Life." A few years after that when I was 26 I had the "Aha, Now I See The Bigger Picture & Realize That Everything Happens For A Reason" chapter followed by the "I Can't Believe That Through All Of This God Was Preparing Me To Be A Wife To Steve." chapter.
Those are just a few chapter titles of the last decade of my life, but all of that leads me to this year. This past year has had a few chapters - some have been short and to the point and others more intriguing. Without a doubt though the last 5 months could be summed up in just a few words and would be entitled the "God, What Are You Doing?" chapter. Without a doubt that is the most asked question from my heart to Gods these past few months. Some of the answers I've received and many I'm still waiting for.
When I first came to Madison in September I thought it would be a matter of a few days or maybe at the at the most a few weeks that I've be living here on my own while I looked for a job. Weeks turned into months - 2 1/2 months to exact until I finally found a job and Steve was actually able to come up here and move into the house we had purchased. It was 3 months and 12 days ago that Steve was finally able to join me here and although I'm grateful that everything turned out beautifully for me to have a job that I enjoy, I feel like I'm still asking God the big "what are you doing" question while Steve struggles to find a job.
Although this chapter has been a total of just 5 short months, I feel like it's not only the never ending chapter, but in my heart I know it's the chapter that I'll also never forget. This has been a chapter that's been jam packed with character building experiences and lots of life's little lessons. It also has been a chapter that I'm hoping will finally end soon. I'm grateful for all that we've learned and how we've grown, but I am so ready for the "Now I See That It All Turned Out Beautifully" chapter to begin. I know eventually we'll get there, because God is predictable (aka faithful) like that, but some days I just can't help but wish that I could skip a few pages and see how beautifully it truly does all turn out just so that I could feel a little bit more hope while I continue to navigate through this current chapter that seems to be filled with lots of uncertainties.
Until then though, I guess all I can keep on doing is try to enjoy the ride as much as possible...
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