...........
I hate having a yucky heart. I guess I don't have anyone to blame but myself.
The last few days I've been kind of introspecitve and have been realizing how sour my attitude can get and I am so ashamed of myself.
I try to be a person that is genuine, honest and sincere. No, I don't go around telling people I hate them or anything, but I can honestly say there's also not really anyone that I actually hate. Sometimes when people describe themselves and sincere and honest that means they like to give you their opinion about everything they think of you. I wouldn't say that I'm that type of person, but I would say that I'm the type of person that is honest and sincere when I tell someone that I care about them. It's not just talk, I really DO care.
Lately though I find myself getting an attitude with a few people in my life. Attitudes in my heart are beginning to come evident in my head and normally when that happens it doesn't take much time before they become evident in my words as well.
It starts out like this....I get a little upset because I'm being mistreated by someone but I shrug it off....after a little while though this starts to really wear on me and then eventually I'll start thinking bad thoughts about this person. Or they'll be talking to me and in my head I'm thinking "I just wish you'd shut up so I can get away from you!".....that's the point where it moves to my head, then not long after that if i let it stew around in my head for awhile and really allow myself to ponder about how much I dislike this invidual it starts to come out of my mouth. Sometimes it's really subtle but others times not so much. It can be something that I say to that person or even something I say about that person to somebody else.
All of this to say that I'm sick of my bad attitude. Regardless of what others due to me it is MY responsiblity to act like the mature adult. They will account for their actions just like I have to account for mine. So many times I think it is my right to hold on to bitterness in my heart because I feel so justified with my anger because of the way that I've been treated by someone.
These last few days though I've really been thinking about my attitude and realizing that I DON'T want to be a person that holds on to that kind of crap. I am the only one that has to account for the things in my heart and because of that MY heart should be the only one I'm judging. I'm sick of having a yucky attitude, and I'm not sitting here blaming anyone but ME for it.
I want to be a person that forgives and shows love. I used to be more like that but lately because of some of the circumstances in life I've allowed myself to have short fuse when it comes to letting other people get to me.
So....these last few days I've been a work in progress as I try to get rid of the wrong attitude and instead fill myself with God's attitude. It's hard work though.....
The last few days I've been kind of introspecitve and have been realizing how sour my attitude can get and I am so ashamed of myself.
I try to be a person that is genuine, honest and sincere. No, I don't go around telling people I hate them or anything, but I can honestly say there's also not really anyone that I actually hate. Sometimes when people describe themselves and sincere and honest that means they like to give you their opinion about everything they think of you. I wouldn't say that I'm that type of person, but I would say that I'm the type of person that is honest and sincere when I tell someone that I care about them. It's not just talk, I really DO care.
Lately though I find myself getting an attitude with a few people in my life. Attitudes in my heart are beginning to come evident in my head and normally when that happens it doesn't take much time before they become evident in my words as well.
It starts out like this....I get a little upset because I'm being mistreated by someone but I shrug it off....after a little while though this starts to really wear on me and then eventually I'll start thinking bad thoughts about this person. Or they'll be talking to me and in my head I'm thinking "I just wish you'd shut up so I can get away from you!".....that's the point where it moves to my head, then not long after that if i let it stew around in my head for awhile and really allow myself to ponder about how much I dislike this invidual it starts to come out of my mouth. Sometimes it's really subtle but others times not so much. It can be something that I say to that person or even something I say about that person to somebody else.
All of this to say that I'm sick of my bad attitude. Regardless of what others due to me it is MY responsiblity to act like the mature adult. They will account for their actions just like I have to account for mine. So many times I think it is my right to hold on to bitterness in my heart because I feel so justified with my anger because of the way that I've been treated by someone.
These last few days though I've really been thinking about my attitude and realizing that I DON'T want to be a person that holds on to that kind of crap. I am the only one that has to account for the things in my heart and because of that MY heart should be the only one I'm judging. I'm sick of having a yucky attitude, and I'm not sitting here blaming anyone but ME for it.
I want to be a person that forgives and shows love. I used to be more like that but lately because of some of the circumstances in life I've allowed myself to have short fuse when it comes to letting other people get to me.
So....these last few days I've been a work in progress as I try to get rid of the wrong attitude and instead fill myself with God's attitude. It's hard work though.....
1 Comments:
You'd be surprised how many people feel that same way. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all takes blows and sometimes it's good to vent.
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