dreaming....

I had the weirdest dream last night.
I don't dream that often so when I do normally they're weird dreams and make me think alot.
In my dream I had a baby but I was totally unprepared. Steve & I had known we were pregnant the entire term of my pregnancy but in the dream it was almost like we didn't care.
So much that when I went into labor in my dream I didn't even bother to call Steve and let him know, nor did I even go to the hospital. I was at a party actually and just had the baby there.
Because I was so unprepared I needed to put a diaper on the baby once he was born but realized that I didn't have any diapers with me or at my house. Then I decided I should go to the store to get some diapers, only I realized that again because of how unprepared I was I didn't have either a carseat or a stroller to take the baby with me.

It was such a weird dream. I am SUCH a planner so in real life I would never be that unprepared to bring a child into the world but it still was weird.

I know that dreams often time signify things in life so I was thinking about it and came to some conclusions.
Babies signify new beginning and change. I feel like (and have been feeling for quite some time) that Steve & I are about to experience MAJOR change. We're not sure what that is yet, but we feel kind of stale and stagnant in life right now so we're pretty open to change. Because of how stagnant we both feel I've become kind of apathetic. I'm ready for change but really I'm not prepared for it - emotionally, spritually, financially or any other way really. Just like the baby in my dream I was so stressed out because I was unprepared when all it really took was getting things in order in anticipation for the baby to arrive.
I'm not really sure how to prepare myself for something that's down the road when I'm not really sure what that "something" is yet. But, I feel with time things will become more clear.
In the mean time I just need to continue be the best I can be at what God has called me to know and not look forward to the future so much that I forget about the present. I have a habit with doing that in life and it doesn't matter how much I try to change, I just seem to keep on learning the same lessson over and over again. I guess that's part of life though and if I wasn't constantly learning I'd constantly be bored.