Thriving or just barely surviving?

I've been really struggling with finding balance in life. For pretty much my entire life I've had a hard time with this really, but lately it's just been more evident. We've got a lot on our plate and I think it's high time that I learn how to balance things better. I know there's a time and a season for everything and although I'm not sure how to balance everything that we've got going on right now I do feel like we've said "Yes" to the things we're supposed to and "No" to the things that we're not.

That being said, I'm sick of just barely surviving. Sick of feeling tired and wondering where the time is always going and most of all sick of feeling like there's not enough hours in the day.

I was reading in the Bible this evening about a story of John the Baptist rebuking people that had come to get baptized only because it was the "popular" thing to do. John told the people that it was their LIFE that had to change, not water on their skin. He then asked the people if their life was "green and blossoming" and it helped me evaluate my own life. Am I growing and thriving? In some areas I can give that a definite YES, but in others it seems like I just keep coming back to the same old hiccup time and time again. I want to be thriving in all areas, I just don't know how to get there.

There are so many areas in my life where I just feel comfortable. You know, those areas that we all have where we can't really say that we're growing and become better people, but we're also not digressing to become worse people.

For me, these are often the stagnant places of my heart that get little attention. For instance, I have little patience for arrogant attention seekers. I find myself getting annoyed with people that act out arrogantly simply to get attention. Most of the time though, I don't stop and think that really all of that arrogance just stems from insecurity. If I would just look at people and realize that they act the way they do for a deeper reason, rather than get annoyed and judge them, I would have a lot more of compassion to give out to people. This is just one (of the many) areas that I need to grow in. This is also a good example of one area where I have become comfortable and stagnant - because I'm so used to myself and don't challenge myself to grow in my love for others. When I'm really honest with myself and stop and evaluate ME, its then that I see the attitudes of my heart and the areas that I need to change.

Two questions help me with my self evaluation of growth and they're very simple questions:

1. Am I growing and becoming more like Jesus in my daily life? If not, why and in what areas?
2. Am I causing others to want to grow and become more like Jesus?

These questions usually pretty much sum it up for me. They're Yes/No questions with no gray area. Most of the time I find that I'm not where I should be and it's in those times that I'm so thankful for God's grace and mercy. I know that I will never in my lifetime be perfect, in fact I won't even come close. I know that I'm a constant work in progress and am learning to find joy in the journey - even though sometimes it sucks, it's really hard and most of the time it causes me to step outside of my comfort zone and be nice when I don't feel like it.

I do, however, want to be that person that can lay my head down on my pillow at night and know that I did the best I could and be proud of myself for that and look forward to tomorrow as a new opportunity to grow. Hopefully I will become more "green and blossoming" rather than stagnant and dying.