thoughts on the state of the world and the state of my heart.

I just heard about a terror plot that was uncovered overnight in Great Britian. So far 21 people have been arrested and they believed they were trying to bring liquid explosives onto planes flying from Great Britian to the US.


I just don't get what's going on. It's sad to me that this is life now and hearing news like this no longer suprises me.


Sometimes I get afraid.....mostly though lately I've just felt such an urgency inside me when I heard about all that's going on in the world. It's so easy to take life for granted but lately I've just been realizing really how short life is and how much life I'm wasting.
I think of all the people I love, all the people I see every day, and all the people that I no longer keep in touch with and it just makes me realize that what's the most important in life really is people and relationships.
I never want to let myself get so busy that I forget what' most important but yet still it seems like it happens every day.


I know I'm not here on earth just to live a normal mediocre life but yet sometimes that's what I make it. I want to make a difference, I want to be someone that lives extraordinarily but that takes getting out of my apathetic state.

I'm fortunate to have a hope inside of me and I couldn't imagine living life without that hope. I know and trust that regardless of what goes on in the world there's a God that loves me and that's all that really matters. Because of that I have such a peace when I really stop and ponder the the extremity of how God's plans for me go above and beyond what I could ever imagine.
I feel honored that He chooses to let me know Him more and I feel ashamed that I don't seek after what He has for me with every fiber in me with every moment I'm breathing.

There's so much I feel that I miss every day because I just don't stop and take the time to let God in like I should. There's so many people I know and love that don't have any hope for their life and it makes me feel such an urgency inside of me to share with them the hope I have. There's so many great people I know that live great lives but yet it breaks my heart to see them missing out on the greatest gift in life - the life abundant that if i chooose I can experience every day.


Why do I keep this great key to live to myself? It's not that I'm ashamed of it....sometimes I think it's more that I don't want to be one of those pushy Christians I've come to dislike. I get angry when the people I love have God shoved down their throats by perfect strangers that don't even know them so at the risk of seeming like one of those pushy Christians I back off and hope my life speaks for itself. I'm finding though that that's not quite good enough. You see.....there's a lot of really GREAT people out there but they're still people that don't have the hope I do.

So who am I to think that what I have is what everyone else needs? I'm sure that seems conceited and that's what a lot of people think. I know we live in a "what works for you is great for you" culture. The beauty of the freedom that our country offers is that you can pretty much think however you want and that's okay.

I find myself hiding behind that sometimes. Some of the kindest people I know that challenge me to be a better person are the people that don't share the same religious feelings I do. So.....who am I to tell them all their missing out on when they have much more love and compassion that I do?
Regardless of how great or even how horrible people may be I have a responsibility - to them and to God to share with them how much more abundant their life could be. To think of the wonderful people I love living a great life with a tragic eternity is more that my heart can handle.

I'm realizing that I just need to get over myself and get out of my comfort zone. So what if the people I love think I'm crazy? God has put me in their lives for a reason and I have responsibility to them to share with them just this one simple truth : that Jesus loves them and died for them so they could be free from paying for all the bad things they've ever done.


What a free gift and yet I'm to lazy to give it out!